


the s in seventeen stands for shut up already

by hunzi



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Multi, Same universe, Texting, a mess, chatfic, crackfic, dino gives love advice, v v gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-05 09:26:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 13,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11575206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunzi/pseuds/hunzi
Summary: [no onecreated one (1) new chat! ][no oneaddedthicc daddy,angel,the only normal one,a(jun)ice,soonOLD,wonwhy,Lee Jihoon,(i)dk,#1 doggo enthusiast,thegr8,here comes honey boo boo, andrapgod][no onenamed the chat 'the seventeen group chat~☆' ]Lee Jihoon: Oh, what's this?Lee Jihoon: Is that Soonyoung's name I seeLee Jihoon: This is gonna be tiringsoonOLD: HEYor, the seventeen chatfic that no one asked for[ currently onhiatusbc school is a bitch :( sorry! ]





	1. keyword being "responsibly"

**Author's Note:**

> here it is, the crack!ot13 chatfic that literally no one asked for but i wrote anyway because it's funny and i thought i could be funny too 
> 
> (i'm not)
> 
> to avoid confusion, here's everyone and their contact names:
> 
> s.coups: thicc daddy  
> jeonghan: angel  
> joshua: the only normal one  
> jun: a(jun)ice  
> hoshi: soonOLD  
> wonwoo: wonwhy  
> woozi: Lee Jihoon  
> dk: (i)dk  
> mingyu: #1 doggo enthusiast  
> the8: thegr8  
> seungkwan: here comes honey boo boo  
> hansol: rapgod  
> dino: no one
> 
> these may end up changing along the way, but they'll be very obvious
> 
> since its summer, updates should be pretty frequent? idk don't quote me on this i get lazy
> 
> anyway, i hope you like this! enjoy ❤️

_[ **no one** created one ( **1** ) new chat! ]_

_[ **no one** added **thicc daddy** , **angel** , **the only normal one** , **a(jun)ice** , **soonOLD** , **wonwhy** , **Lee Jihoon** , **(i)dk** , **#1 doggo enthusiast** , **thegr8** , **here comes honey boo boo** , and **rapgod** ]_

_[ **no one** named the chat ' **the seventeen group chat** ~☆' ]_

 

 

**Lee Jihoon** : Oh, what's this?

**Lee Jihoon** : Is that Soonyoung's name I see

**Lee Jihoon** : This is gonna be tiring

**soonOLD** : HEY

**thicc** **daddy** : chan, what's this?

**thegr8** : more importantly

**thegr8** : why is your name "thicc daddy"

**thicc** **daddy** : well

**thicc** **daddy** : jeonghan changed it

**thicc** **daddy** : and i don't know how to change it back

**thegr8** : lol good one jeonghan

**angel** : thanks lmao

**no one** : this is the seventeen group chat!

**no one** : i made a new one since our _last_ one was...

**no one** : deleted.

**wonwhy** : _all eyes are on seungkwan, what will he do next?_

**here** **comes** **honey** **boo** **boo** : _EXCUSE_ ME

**here** **comes** **honey** **boo** **boo** : YOU CANT BLAME ME FOR JUST LEAVING MY PHONE OUT

**the only normal one** : well, no we can't

**the only normal one** : but you _could_ have been more careful

**here** **comes honey boo boo** : HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW JUN WAS SENDING EVERYONE GAY PORN

**a(jun)ice** : and you're damn welcome, too

**the only normal one** : your little stunt got us into a lot of trouble, jun

**thicc daddy** : you're lucky i saved your asses

**a(jun)ice** : i give you all the best i have, and this is what i get

**a(jun)ice** : this is: racism

**no one** : please, don't fight!

**no one** : hopefully manager hyung has calmed down enough, and won't get mad if we use this one responsibly!

**wonwhy** : keyword being "responsibly"

**#1 doggo enthusiast** : oh, whats this!

[ _**wonwhy** has left the chat_ ]

**#1 doggo enthusiast** : i Literally breathed .

[ _**the only normal one** added **wonwhy**_ ]

**the only normal one** : is this still about what happened yesterday?

**wonwhy** : YOU KNOW DAMN WELL ITS MORE THAN JUST A GODDAMN BOOK, MINGYU

**#1 doggo enthusiast** : i SAID i was sorry :(

**wonwhy** : i hate you

**thicc** **daddy** : okay, shut up both of you

**thicc** **daddy** : chan made this with good intentions, and it's important we respect that

**no one** : thank you!

**thicc** **daddy** : assuming this chat lasts long enough, that is

**no one** : :(

**rapgod** : what the fuck

**the only normal one** : ...hansol

**rapgod** : oh sorry

**rapgod** : hi everyone!! (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡ 

**the only normal one** : what no not that

**the only normal one** : why are you called 'rapgod'?

**rapgod** : bc i am one lol xD

[ _**rapgod** has left the chat_ ]

**Lee Jihoon** : you're damn welcome

**thicc daddy** : oh come on, it's not that bad!

**thicc daddy** : i, too, am a "rapgod" if i do say so myself

**thicc daddy** : ...xD?

[ _**thicc daddy** has left the chat_ ]

**the only normal one** : jihoon, you can't kick our members like that

**thegr8** : idk 

**thegr8** : im with hyung on this one

**Lee Jihoon** : See?

[ _**the only normal one** added **rapgod** and **thicc daddy**_ ]

**thicc daddy** : finally

**Lee Jihoon** : Ugh

**(i)dk** : ohoho whats this?

**soonOLD** : BRO

**soonOLD** : YOU MADE IT

**(i)dk** : BRO

**(i)dk** : OF COURSE I DID

**thegr8** : oh god

**soonOLD** : CHAN MADE ANOTHER CHAT BRO

**(i)dk** : BRO

**(i)dk** : NO WAY

**soonOLD** : BRO

**soonOLD** : YES WAY

**Lee Jihoon** : Are you sure we can't kick any of the members?

**angel** : oh please

**angel** : allow me

[ _**soonOLD** has left the chat_ ]

**(i)dk** : B R O

[ _**(i)dk** has left the chat _ ]

**the normal one** : that wasn't mature, jeonghan

**angel** : joshua stop lying to yourself

**angel** : that was painful for everyone to watch, you included

**angel** : i, once again, saved the day

**rapgod** : do you think

**rapgod** : that if i uploaded sone of my mixes onto soundcloud

**rapgod** : jay z would notice and put it on tidal?

**rapgod** : im just thinking out loud here

[ _**rapgod** has left the chat_ ]

**thegr8** : that was me i take 100% of the credit

**thicc daddy** : chan, i'm so sorry

**thicc daddy** : i know you tried to do something good

**thegr8** : hey i did something good

**thegr8** : i just saved everyone

**no one** : no, no, it's okay!

**no one** : it's still going better than our last one

**no one** : no gay porn yet

**thegr8** : *war flashbacks*

**a(jun)ice** : IT WAS GOOD PORN


	2. you overgrown beanpole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **thegr8** : but think of it this way
> 
>  **thegr8** : according to this messaging app, you are no one
> 
>  **thegr8** : your existence doesn't matter
> 
>  **thegr8** : you are: no one
> 
>  **no one** : ...
> 
>  **no one** : o h
> 
>  **angel** : i smell despair im up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates?? so soon?? this is wild!!!
> 
> lol ok don't get used to this the only reason that i'm updating this so soon is because tnf liked it and i want to see what they think of this chapter
> 
> i hope u enjoy! again, this is a mess ft. baby chan, angry jihoon and bookworm wonwoo 
> 
> i give to you: what happens when you wake seventeen up at 6:30am

**_the seventeen group chat ~☆_** , _6:30am_

 

 **no one** : morning, hyungs!

 **no one** : i hope you all have the best day possible today, filled with lots of love and happiness!!

 **thicc daddy** : chan

 **thicc daddy** : while that's cute and all

 **thicc daddy** : its 6:30am

 **thicc daddy** : and it's a free day for us

 **the only normal one** : why are you up?

 **no one** : extra practice!

 **no one** : i want to bring seventeen to the top!

 **here comes honey boo boo** : oHMYG OD

 **here comes honey boo boo** : WHY IS EVERYONE UP

 **here comes honey boo boo** : ITS LITERALLY MIDNIGHT

 **the only normal one** : seungkwan, its 6:30

 **here comes honey boo boo** : M I D N I G H T

 **no one** : sorry, hyung :(

 **wonwhy** : lmao i was already up

 **thegr8** : ??? do u get no sleep or

 **wonwhy** : lol no i do

 **wonwhy** : but this is a really good book

 **thegr8** : u nerd

 **soonOLD** : WE DONT HAVE PRACTICE TODAY

 **soonOLD** : Y ES

 **Lee** **Jihoon** : Why. Is. Everyone. Up.

 **here comes honey boo boo** : BECAUSE CHAN HERE INSISTS ON WAKING EVERYONE UP AT THE ASS CRACK OF DAWN

 **wonwhy** : not everyone

 **wonwhy** : i was already up

 **thegr8** : we heard, shut up

 **the only normal one** : go easy on chan, he didn't do anything bad

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : chan! thank you for your cute message!

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : i hope ur day is filled with lots of cute pups!

 **no one** : thank you, hyung!!

 **wonwhy** : oh my GOD shut up u overgrown beanpole

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : i didn't do anything???

 **wonwhy** : STOP

 **a(jun)ice** : whats up losers

 **a(jun)ice** : jun is here to grace your presence B)

 **Lee** **Jihoon** : Did no one hear my question??

 **no one** : i did!

 **no one** : wait no that was rhetorical

 **thegr8** : chan, if you don't mind me asking

 **thegr8** : why is your screename 'no one'?

 **no one** : oh! it's so funny

 **no one** : its just so that whenever you get a text from me, it says 'no one texted you'

 **no one** : funny, yeah?

[ _**Lee Jihoon** has left the chat_ ]

[ _**the only normal one** added **Lee Jihoon**_ ]

 **Lee Jihoon** : I hope you die a painful death

 **thegr8** : i guess so

 **thegr8** : but think of it this way

 **thegr8** : according to this messaging app, you are no one

 **thegr8** : your existence doesn't matter

 **thegr8** : you are: no one

 **no one** : ...

 **no one** : o h

 **angel** : i smell despair im up

 **the only normal one** : please, stop bullying chan

 **here comes honey boo boo** : SHUT UP IM TRYING TO SLEEP

 **(i)dk** : morning everyone :D

 **soonOLD** : BRO WE HAVE NO PRACTICE

 **(i)dk** : BRO NICE

 **rapgod** : what is going on

 **here comes honey boo boo** : THEY WONT LET ME SLEEP

 **here comes honey boo boo** : DO SOMETHING HANSOL

 **rapgod** : ??? why me

 **here comes honey boo boo** : YOU ARE MY LOYAL AND EVERLOVING DONGSAENG

 **here comes honey boo boo** : YOU DO MY BIDDING

 **rapgod** : im not a dog wtf

 **rapgod** : and why not ask chan

 **here comes honey boo boo** : he IS THE PROBLEM

 **no one** : :(

 **rapgod** : im still confused

 **here comes honey boo boo** : you're USELESS

 **here comes honey boo boo** : you're fired

 **rapgod** : seungkwan u can't fire me from being younger than you

 **here comes honey boo boo** : that's seungkwan HYUNG to you, hansol

 **Lee Jihoon** : Jisoo, what did I ever do to you

 **the only normal one** : ???

 **Lee Jihoon** : Why did you add me back

 **a(jun)ice** : because then you'd miss me! ;)

 **Lee Jihoon** : You know what

[ _**a(jun)ice** has left the chat_ ]

 **Lee Jihoon** : If I can't leave, I can at least take care of the problem

 **rapgod** : forget it im never calling you hyung

 **here comes honey boo boo** : HANSOL

 **Lee Jihoon** : **One of the problems

[ _**the only normal one** added **a(jun)ice**_ ]

 **a(jun)ice** : hey did y'all miss me?

 **Lee Jihoon** : No

 **thicc daddy** : no

 **angel** : no

 **thegr8** : no

 **wonwhy** : no

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : no

 **here comes honey boo boo** : no

 **rapgod** : no

 **soonOLD** : no

 **(i)dk** : no

 **no one** : i did, hyung!

 **a(jun)ice** : you know, i'd get mad

 **a(jun)ice** : but that's the first time so many people have responded to me

 **the only normal one** : guys, that's mean

 **Lee Jihoon** : Be honest, Jisoo

 **Lee Jihoon** : Did you miss him?

 **the only normal one** : ....

 **a(jun)ice** : well????

 **the only normal one** : while you're nice and all, jun

 **the only normal one** : i'm gonna have to say no :/

 **here comes honey boo boo** : OH SHIT

 **a(jun)ice** : forget this

 **a(jun)ice** : dont come crying to me when you're alone and u miss my wonderful presence

 **wonwhy** : we won't

 **thegr8** : he'll be too busy reading his book

 **wonwhy** : ITS A GOOD BOOK 

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : careful minghao, if u make fun of his book he might, i dunno

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : block you for breathing???

[ _**#1 doggo enthusiast** has left the chat_ ]

 **no one** : i asked for a morning full of love and happiness

 **no one** : and got this

 **Lee Jihoon** : Careful what you wish for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how nice
> 
> what did y'all think of the joke with chan's name?? comment below i personally thought it was hilarious
> 
> twitter: smiiefiowers
> 
> stay well and have a good day! ❤️


	3. i am: Disgusted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **wonwhy** : there's a lot of things you don't know kim mingyu
> 
>  **wonwhy** : example 1: how to shut the fuck up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not that happy with the content of this chapter but it leads to something important so i'll post it lmao
> 
> you might have noticed i've put in a _fuck_ ton of ships in the tags, and i promise to add them all into the story. (eventually)
> 
> so! enjoy this chapter involving: protective seungcheol, momentarily genius jun and twice fanboy seungkwan
> 
> i give to you: soonyoung's 4am crisis. enjoy!

_**the seventeen group chat ~☆** , 4:02am_

 

 **soonOLD** : guys

 **soonOLD** : have u ever wondered if aliens exist

 **wonwhy** : soonyoung it's 4am

 **soonOLD** : i know

 **soonOLD** : but i was thinking

 **soonOLD** : but we can't possibly be the only people in the universe, right?

 **no one** : if it helps, hyung, there's been evidence of water on mars!

 **(i)dk** : do u mean like

 **(i)dk** : the weird cartoon ones like in signal?

 **here comes honey boo boo** : SIGNAL

 **here comes honey boo boo** : A WHOLE BOP

 **rapgod** : shut up seungkwan u just have a crush on nayeon

 **here comes honey boo boo** : who doesn't?

 **wonwhy** : i don't

 **wonwhy** : i, a whole Gay™

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : ur gay???? i thought u were bi??

 **wonwhy** : not that it's any of ur business

 **wonwhy** : but yes i am

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : huh

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : i did Not know that

 **wonwhy** : there's a lot of things you don't know kim mingyu

 **wonwhy** : example 1: how to shut the fuck up

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : :(

 **soonOLD** : GUYS

 **soonOLD** : IM HAVING A CRISIS HERE

 **here comes honey boo boo** : i mean, so am i

 **here comes honey boo boo** : but you don't see me crying over it

 **rapgod** : seungkwan, running out of snacks in the dorm doesn't count as a crisis

 **here comes honey boo boo** : shut the fuck up hansol u don't know me

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : lol u have snacks

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : can i have some omg

 **wonwhy** : IDIOT he just said he ran out

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : i was asking just in CASE

 **rapgod** : anyway

 **rapgod** : im pretty sure aliens exist

 **rapgod** : maybe like

 **rapgod** : in an alternate universe though

 **a(jun)ice** : actually, if aliens existed we would never know

 **thegr8** : ???

 **thegr8** : i have so much to ask them

 **a(jun)ice** : man has travelled the maximum possible amount of light years possible before he dies

 **a(jun)ice** : and we haven't found any aliens

 **a(jun)ice** : so by the time we do eventually reach where the aliens are, we'll all be dead

 **no one** : ....

 **angel** : did jun just say something

 **angel** : _smart_?

 **wonwhy** : i think i'm gonna pass out

 **thegr8** : ok but who stole jun's phone

[ _**soonOLD** changed **a(jun)ice** 's screename to: **a fucking nerd**_ ]

 **a fucking nerd** : FUCK YOU GUYS

[ _**a fucking nerd** has left the chat_ ]

 **the only normal one** : i feel like

 **the only normal one** : i feel like that could have been handled a lot better

 **Lee Jihoon** : Well

 **Lee Jihoon** : I'm glad the problem took care of itself

 **thicc daddy** : jihoon why are you up?

 **Lee Jihoon** : You're asking me of all people?

 **thicc daddy** : ive given up on everyone else

 **thegr8** : how rude

 **(i)dk** : i, for one, am heartbroken

 **wonwhy** : i am: Disgusted

 **wonwhy** : for shame, hyung

 **here comes honey boo boo** : rlly hyung

 **here comes honey boo boo** : all my trust in you, gone

 **here comes honey boo boo** : my love for you, gone

 **here comes honey boo boo** : my faith in you, dead

 **Lee Jihoon** : I'm in my studio

 **Lee Jihoon** : I just need to finish up some stuff

 **wonwhy** : you haven't been to bed yet???

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : hyung, thats not good for u!!

 **the only normal one** : you could continue in the morning?

 **Lee Jihoon** : Can't, we have practice

 **thicc daddy** : i don't care what you say

 **thicc daddy** : you're going to sleep

 **Lee** **Jihoon** : ?? I just said that I wasn't done, can't you read?

 **(i)dk** : ok seungcheol hyung's leaving the dorm

 **(i)dk** : run, hyung, run

 **rapgod** : well as much fun as this has been

 **rapgod** : i'm going to bed

 **the** **only** **normal** **one** : sleep well

 **wonwhy** : yeah so will i

 **#1** **doggo** **enthusiast** : me too! good night~

 **no** **one** : night hyungs! sleep well!!

 **(i)dk** : goodnight!

 **angel** : im going to sleep too bye

 **thegr8** : dream of me ;)

 **here** **comes** **honey** **boo** **boo** : seungcheol hyung can u get back some food after u hunt down jihoon hyung thanks

 **soonOLD** : ok so we're all done with my problem now??????????

 **soonOLD** : guys??? im still having a crisis????

 **soonOLD** : now this is just plain rude

————

 

_Direct message to: **Lee** **Jihoon**_

 

 **thicc** **daddy** : jihoon, you know you can't keep doing this

 _ **Lee**_ **Jihoon** : I'm only trying to help us get far

 **thicc** **daddy** : i know

 **thicc** **daddy** : but i want the best for you too

 **thicc** **daddy** : and you need to sleep in order for that to happen

 **Lee** **Jihoon** : Best for me?

 **thicc** **daddy** : US

 **thicc** **daddy** : US AS A GROUP

 **Lee** **Jihoon** : ...Right.

 **thicc** **daddy** : WE ALL NEED TO SLEEP THATS WHAT I MEANT LOL

 **Lee** **Jihoon** : Says the one up at 4am?

 **thicc** **daddy** : look my point is

 **thicc** **daddy** : if you're ever stressed, or worried

 **thicc** **daddy** : please tell me

 **thicc** **daddy** : i care about you

 **Lee** **Jihoon** : Yeah, I will

 **Lee** **Jihoon** : Btw, Seungkwan's asking for food again

 **thicc** **daddy** : that lil shit

 **Lee** **Jihoon** : You love him

 **thicc** **daddy** : yeah

 **thicc** **daddy** : i really do

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> looks like someone has a crush~
> 
> anyway! i hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter!! question: would you prefer it if i added in pictures and links? (i just found out how to lmao)
> 
> all your comments and kudos make me smile, thank you!
> 
> twitter: smiiefiowers
> 
> have the best day today AND tomorrow ❤️


	4. michael jackson's grave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **angel** : oh my GOD being a mother is so stressful i need 2 lie down
> 
> **thicc daddy** : u've been lying down for 15 mins
> 
> **thicc daddy** : + ur not a mom
> 
> **angel** : i didn't go through single motherhood to be lied to like this choi seungcheol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is completely and 100% inspired by a chat im in *cough* tnf *cough* and almost half of these conversations have actually taken place
> 
> just so you know
> 
> thank you for your support! it's literally been a day but i've already gotten 40 kudos? wild! thank you so much ❤️
> 
> i give to you: iconic duo seoksoon, momma jeonghan, and confused chan
> 
> here is: chan goes missing

_**the seventeen group chat ~☆** , 3:15pm_

 

**#1 doggo enthusiast** : um u guys

**#1 doggo enthusiast** : not to worry u all

**#1 doggo enthusiast** : but i think we lost chan

**thicc daddy** : WHAT

**thegr8** : lol how

**#1 doggo enthusiast** : idk i went to look for him

**#1 doggo enthusiast** : soonyoung hyung said he was in the practice room

**#1 doggo enthusiast** : but he isn't??

**angel** : SOONYOUNG DID YOU EAT MY SON

**soonOLD** : calm ur tits momma i didn't do shit

**the** **only** **normal** **one** : does he have his phone with him?

**the** **only** **normal** **one** : try calling him

**wonwhy** : with all the shit that we send

**wonwhy** : i wouldn't be surprised if he burned it

**rapgod** : ^^^^

**(i)dk** : lets all think

**(i)dk** : if you were chan, where would you go?

**wonwhy** : home

**thegr8** : away from here

**wonwhy** : michael jackson's grave

**thegr8** : does he even know michael jackson is dead

**wonwhy** : i mean

**wonwhy** : hopefully???

[ _**thegr8** has renamed the chat " **CHAN HE'S DEAD** "_ ]

**thegr8** : just in case

**(i)dk** : u know

**(i)dk** : it kinda looks like we're saying chan's dead

**angel** : DO NT

**a fucking nerd** : found him

**angel** : REALLY

**angel** : WHERE

**a fucking nerd** : hes outside

**a fucking nerd** : idk what he's doing though

**here comes honey boo boo** : hyung with how excited u get u'd think he's ur baby

**angel** : wdym "think"????

**here comes honey boo boo** : i mean

**here comes honey boo boo** : hes not actually ur child lol

[ _**here comes honey boo boo** has left the chat_ ]

**angel** : haters be hatin lmao

**the only normal one** : u know

**the only normal one** : he did have a point

[ _**the only normal one** has left the chat_ ]

**no one** : hi

**angel** : CNAH

**angel** : CHNA

**angel** : CHAN

**soonOLD** : cnah

**(i)dk** : chna

[ _**soonOLD** has changed their screename to:  **cnah**_ ]

[ _**(i)dk** has changed their screename to: **chna**_ ]

**cnah** : bro

**chna** : matching names <33

**angel** : CHAN WHERE WERE YOU

**no one** : um don't get mad

**no one** : but i was outside

**rapgod** : dude what were u doing

**no one** : well

**no one** : ....there was a really cute dog

**#1 doggo enthusiast** : DOG

**#1 doggo enthusiast** : DOG DOG DOGGO

**#1 doggo enthusiast** : PUPPY

**wonwhy** : shut the fuck up mingyu

**no one** : forgive me, hyung!

**no one** : but it looked so lonely :(

**no one:** i had to pet it

**thegr8** : im laughing so hard whats jeonghan gonna say

**thicc daddy** : u know

**thicc daddy** : u could have just told us when u left

**angel** : CHAN

**angel** : YOU COULD HAVE DIED

**no one** : ...what

**angel** : DOGS CAN GIVE U RABIES

**angel** : AND U WOULD DIE

**angel** : oh my GOD being a mother is so stressful i need 2 lie down

**thicc daddy** : u've been lying down for 15 mins

**thicc daddy** : + ur not a mom

**angel** : i didn't go through single motherhood to be lied to like this choi seungcheol

**angel** : honestly

**angel** : when will mothers get the appreciation they deserve

**thicc** **daddy** : wtf

[ _**thicc daddy** added here comes **honey boo boo** and **the only normal one**_ ]

**no one** : hyung, i'm fine

**no one** : i got gloves from staff

**no one** : i washed my hands

**no one** : i'm really okay!

**the only normal one** : next time tell us before you go, okay?

**no one** : yes hyung!

**angel** : LIKE HELL YOU WILL

[ _**angel** has changed **no one** 's screename to: **The Baby™**_ ]

**chna** : oh

**cnah** : my

**chna** : GOD

**The Baby** ™: hyung...

**thicc daddy** : jeonghan, isnt that a bit much?

**angel** : uh no???

**angel** : this is normal?? this is what parents do?? im pretty sure???

**wonwhy** : "pretty sure" he says, ruining chan's life forever

**#1 doggo enthusiast** : lol

**wonwhy** : OMG ur ALWAYS attacking me even for the SMALLEST things WHEN will u let me live kim mingyu?? what have i done to deserve this?? i put up with ur shit EVERY GODDAMN DAY and this is what i get? bullshit. BULLSHIT. LET ME LIVE

**#1 doggo enthusiast** : i

**here comes honey boo boo** : who are chna and cnah

**chna** : i'm seokmin lol

**cnah** : i'm soonyoung lol

**thegr8** : literally no one's laughing stop with the 'lol's

**chna** : fine

**chna** : we'll change our names

[ _**chna** changed their screename to: **prepare for trouble**_ ]

[ _**cnah** changed their screename to: _**_and make it double_ ** ]

**the only normal one** : oh...my...god??

**here comes honey boo boo** : what the fuck u guys

**Lee Jihoon** : Guys I need help.

**thicc daddy** : of course! we're here for u! 100%

**prepare for trouble** : lmao whipped

**and make it double** : lmao

**thegr8** : that's even worse than 'lol' i

**Lee Jihoon** : I'm in this really dumb chat right

**Lee Jihoon:** And I hate everyone in it

**Lee Jihoon** : Should I just leave?

**thicc daddy** : obviously!

**thicc daddy** : be with people who make u happy, jihoon!

**thicc daddy** : which chat is this?

[ _**Lee Jihoon** has left the chat _ ]

**wonwhy** : should have known

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im crying what have i done
> 
> ur comments and kudos are highly appreciated! every! single! one! of! them!
> 
> twitter: smiiefiowers
> 
> stay well, everyone!!


	5. Are You High?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **and make it double** : STOP RUNNING SEUNGKWAN UR ASS IS MINE
> 
>  **thegr8** : kinky much
> 
>  **a fucking nerd** : u into that? ;)
> 
>  **thegr8** : ew
> 
> [ _**thegr8** has left the chat_ ]
> 
>  **angel** : like i said
> 
>  **angel** : this happens all the time
> 
>  **angel** : u get used to it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heads up: this chapter is gonna be a little more serious as it leads to some important stuff! even if it is just a crack fic, it does have a plot n stuff, and i need to stick to it sjjsm
> 
> HOWEVER i promise u it's not gonna get sad for a long time after this n maybe 2 chapters? it's meant to be fun after all!!
> 
> also, 100 kudos? this is crazy i wrote this as a joke but so many of u guys are enjoying and leaving me lovely comments, so thank u! i'll continue to work hard to give u guys what u want (:
> 
> this chapter contains: angry soonyoung, possibly high seokmin, and concerned joshua
> 
> i give to you: what happens when jihoon is stressed

_**CHAN HE'S DEAD** , 7:06pm_

 

 **prepare for trouble** : isnt it weird

 **prepare for trouble** : that our noses run and our feet smell?

 **wonwhy** : what the Actual Fuck

 **wonwhy** : are you high???

 **prepare for trouble** : who do you think invented the dildo?

 **wonwhy** : again, i have to ask

 **wonwhy** : Are You High?

 **prepare for trouble** : what would you say if i was

 **wonwhy** : i would say, share

 **prepare for trouble** : im not

 **prepare for trouble** : but i still raise a valid point

 **wonwhy** : go to sleep seokmin

 **prepare for trouble** : ?? it's 7pm?

 **wonwhy** : i know

 **wonwhy** : at least that way you'll have shut up

 **wonwhy** : and no one else has to deal with you

 **prepare for trouble** : i ask a question, this is what i get

 **wonwhy** : now you're learning!

 **prepare for trouble** : -.-

 **rapgod** : has anyone seen jihoon hyung

 **rapgod** : he asked me to bring him some lyrics but i haven't seen him anywhere

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : check his studio?

 **rapgod** : i already did

 **wonwhy** : idiot

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : why r u so mean i don't get it

 **wonwhy** : ur too dumb 2 understand

 **thegr8** : while i do appreciate a bit of cruelty towards mingyu

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : HEY

 **thegr8** : i think that's kinda uncalled for

 **wonwhy** : shut up minghao

 **thegr8** : jeez calm down someone's getting angsty

[ _**wonwhy** has left the chat_ ]

 **thegr8** : well.

 **rapgod** : guys?? back to my problem??

 **The Baby™** : oh! i saw him a couple of minutes ago going outside

 **the only normal one** : did he tell you where he was going?

 **The Baby™** : i tried to ask him

 **The Baby™** : but he just said something about being stressed and left

 **thicc daddy** : oh god

 **the only normal one** : are you ok, seungcheol?

 **thicc daddy** : i should have realised

 **thicc daddy** : if bumzu hyung comes looking for me, tell him i'm looking for jihoon

 **thicc daddy** : he'll understand

 **the only normal one** : ...ok? stay safe

 **thegr8** : gay

 **a fucking nerd** : says u

 **thegr8** : ur only my hyung in korea, jun

 **a fucking nerd** : :(

 **the only normal one** : will they be okay?

 **angel** : yeah don't worry

 **angel** : this happens sometimes, but seungcheol knows what to do

 **and make it double** : WHO THE _FUCK_ FINISHED ALL THE CEREAL

 **and make it double** : IM GONNA STARVE

 **The Baby™** : hyung, we have other food!

 **and make it double** : I WANT MY CEREAL CHAN

 **here comes honey boo boo** : yh i did

 **here comes honey boo boo** : it was kinda shit tho u buy bad cereal

[ _**thegr8** has renamed the chat ' **rip seungkwan 2k17** ' _]

 **and make it double** : OKAY SO NOT _ONLY_ DO U FINISH MY CEREAL

 **and make it double** : YORUE GONNA _INSULT_ IT TOO???!

 **here comes honey boo boo** : **you're

 **and make it double** : OHMYDJSIGOD

 **the only normal one** : will _they_ be okay?

 **angel** : no

 **angel** : this happens all the time

 **angel** : u get used to it

 **and make it double** : STOP RUNNING SEUNGKWAN UR ASS IS MINE

 **thegr8** : kinky much

 **a fucking nerd** : u into that? ;)

 **thegr8** : ew

[ _**thegr8** has left the chat_ ]

 **angel** : like i said

 **angel** : this happens all the time

 **angel** : u get used to it

 

———

  

_Direct message to: **Lee Jihoon**_

 

 **thicc daddy** : jihoon?

 **thicc daddy** : are you okay??

 **Lee Jihoon** : Its late

 **Lee Jihoon** : You should be at the dorms

 **thicc daddy** : fuck that

 **thicc daddy** : im not going back until i know ur coming too

 **Lee Jihoon** : I may take a while, Seungcheol

 **Lee Jihoon** : Just go back

 **thicc daddy** : are you where you i think you are?

 **Lee Jihoon** : Probably

 **thicc daddy** : don't move

 **Lee Jihoon** : What are you doing?

 **thicc daddy** : something i should have done a long time ago

 **Lee Jihoon** : Seungcheol?

 **Lee Jihoon** : Where are you?

 

———

 

_**(3)65 so stressed** , 2:16am_

 

 **thicc daddy** : guys

 **thicc daddy** : i fucked up

 **the only normal one** : you're back!!

 **the only normal one** : what happened?

 **thicc daddy** : i went to get jihoon right

 **angel** : where was he?

 **thicc daddy** : by the lake

 **thicc daddy** : when we were still trainees, he used to go there when he felt low

 **the only normal one** : was he okay?

 **thicc daddy** : yeah he was fine

 **thicc daddy** : i told him that he could come to us

 **thicc daddy** : that we were there for him and stuff

 **the only normal one** : thats nice

 **thicc daddy** : i guess

 **thicc daddy** : he was talking about how he felt responsible for our group's failures

 **thicc daddy** : that the reason we couldn't get big was his lack of talent in producing and stuff

 **the only normal one** : :(

 **angel** : what did you tell him?

 **thicc daddy** : i obviously told him that he's wrong

 **thicc daddy** : that we'll make it big someday

 **thicc daddy** : and that a large part of it will be because of him

 **the only normal one** : aw

 **angel** : i dont get it

 **angel** : how did you fuck up?

 **thicc daddy** : the thing is

 **thicc daddy** : he looked so sad and upset

 **thicc daddy** : i had to do something

 **the only normal one** : ?? im confused

 **thicc daddy** : i did it

 **thicc daddy** : i kissed jihoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!!!! whats gonna happen next owo
> 
> thank u for all ur kudos and comments! i appreciate them all they make me so soft thank u! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡
> 
> twitter: smiiefiowers
> 
> stay happy, safe and well! ur ults adore u endlessly ❤️


	6. i, the hyung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **thegr8** : jun, i win
> 
>  **a fucking nerd** : not on my watch
> 
> [ _**a fucking nerd** has left the chat_ ]
> 
>  **thegr8** : when will he realise u can't do that in real life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1000 reads!!!!!!!!!!! this is wild thank u sosososo much!!!!!!!!
> 
> i NEVER expected this much love 4 such a shitty fic but yall really pulled through im touched ;)
> 
> a lot of u were concerned abt jicheol + meanie! 1) dont worry, seungcheol knows what he's doing and 2) wonwoo's coldness towards mingyu is explained later on, i promise!
> 
> this chapter contains: bullied hansol, confused soonyoung, and savage minghao
> 
> here is: seventeen's debate on which goes first, cereal or milk. 
> 
> enjoy!

_**rip seungkwan 2k17** , 9:03am_

 

 **thegr8** : guys we need to settle this

 **thegr8** : which goes first: cereal or milk?

 **here** **comes** **honey** **boo** **boo** : milk DUH

 **a fucking nerd** : SEE

 **a fucking nerd** : ITS NOT JUST ME

[ _**thegr8** has changed **here comes honey boo boo** 's screename to: **boo boo the fool**_ ]

 **boo boo the fool** : HEY

 **thegr8** : it had to be done

 **thegr8** : i am ASHAMED to call u my everloving dongsaeng

 **boo boo the fool** : and when do u do that

 **wonwhy** : a good point

 **thegr8** : well if i did before

 **thegr8** : i would definitely stop now

 **The Baby™** : um idk about the rest of u all but i put cereal first! ^^

 **thegr8** : chan, an intellectual

 **The Baby™** : :D

 **wonwhy** : minghao pls

 **wonwhy** : how could u ever eat cereal like that

 **thegr8** : i eat it just fine

 **thegr8** : im surprised u can eat it with milk first how gross

 **wonwhy** : excuse u

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : wonwoo hyung im sorry but cereal goes first :/

 **wonwhy** : i

[ _**wonwhy** has left the chat_ ]

 **thegr8** : i can't believe him

[ _**thegr8** added **wonwhy**_ ]

 **thegr8** : stop being a baby get over it

 **wonwhy** : i, the hyung

 **and make it double** : wait a minute

 **and make it double** : yall use _milk_????

 **boo boo the fool** : . what do u use hyung

 **and make it double** : hold on

 **and make it double** : ur meant to add _liquids_ to ur cereal?????

 **boo boo the fool** : omg

[ _**and make it double** has left the chat_ ]

 **thegr8** : i can't believe him

 **rapgod** : ok i put milk first but i have a good reason i swear

 **thegr8** : there can't possibly be a good reason

 **thegr8** : but go on

 **rapgod** : i pour milk first to make sure we _have_ milk

 **rapgod** : if i put cereal first and didn't have any milk, i'd have to eat dry cereal

 **rapgod** : so my mtheod is best

 **thegr8** : mtheod

 **wonwhy** : mtheod

 **boo boo the fool** : mtheod

 **a fucking nerd** : mtheod

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : mtheod

 **The Baby™** : hyungs it's actually **method

 **rapgod** : fuck u guys

[ _**rapgod** has left the chat_ ]

 **thegr8** : oh no he doesn't

[ _**thegr8** added **rapgod**_ ]

 **rapgod** : why

[ _**thegr8** has changed **rapgod** 's screename to: **best** **cereal** **mtheod**_ ]

 **best cereal mtheod** : i hate this group

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : while this is funny and all

 **#1** **doggo** **enthusiast** : i feel like

 **#1** **doggo** **enthusiast** : he has a point???

 **wonwhy** : i suddenly put cereal first

 **thegr8** : wow

 **thegr8** : i never thought about that

 **a fucking nerd** : HA SO I WIN

 **thegr8** : LET ME FINISH

 **thegr8** : i never thought i was the _only_ smart one in this chat

 **boo boo the fool** : ?????

 **thegr8** : while ur theory makes sense hansol

 **thegr8** : can't u just check b4 u even do anything???

 **best cereal mtheod** : ....

[ _**wonwhy** has changed **best cereal mtheod** 's screename to: **WORST cereal mtheod**_ ]

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : oh my GOD

 **boo boo the fool** : oh yh lol

 **thegr8** : jun, i win

 **a fucking nerd** : not on my watch

[ _**a fucking nerd** has left the chat_ ]

 **thegr8** : when will he realise u can't do that in real life

 **The Baby™** : doesn't cereal taste the same no matter how u eat it??

 **wonwhy** : chan, don't start

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : ok im gonna go write some lyrics, bye~

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : wait wait wait for me

 **thegr8** : im gonna go find jun so i can kick his ass

 **wonwhy** : lol good luck

 **the only normal one** : wait you guys

 **the only normal one** : aren't you meant to get the bowl first??????

 **angel** : jisoo, never speak in this chat again

 **the only normal one** : i

 

———

  
_Direct message to: **Lee Jihoon**_

 

 **thicc** **daddy** : jihoon

 **thicc daddy** : u can't keep ignoring me

 **Lee Jihoon** : Yes I can

 **thicc daddy** : HA u just responded

 **Lee** **Jihoon** : ....

 **Lee Jihoon** : Bye.

 **thicc daddy** : WAIT no don't go

 **thicc daddy** : can we talk abt this???

 **Lee Jihoon** : What's there to talk about?

 **Lee Jihoon** : You kissed me. I felt awkward. End of story.

 **thicc daddy** : but i don't want u to feel awkward

 **Lee Jihoon** : So I'll just avoid you. Problem solved.

 **thicc daddy** : u know ppl are gonna realise eventually

 **Lee Jihoon** : Not if I leave the band

 **thicc daddy** : JIHOON

 **Lee Jihoon** : Okay, fine

 **Lee Jihoon** : One conversation

 **Lee Jihoon** : But thats it. If you make me do this again, I really am leaving the band

 **thicc daddy** : !!!!

 **thicc daddy** : where do i meet u?

 **Lee Jihoon** : Come up to my studio

 **Lee Jihoon** : Don't make me regret this

 **thicc daddy** : u won't, i promise

 **thicc daddy** : im gonna make things right again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mingyu, minghao and chan, the only intellectuals
> 
> what do u think goes first? milk or cereal? lmk! also what do u think jicheol r gonna talk abt? will they sort things out or will jihoon have to leave the group bc of the awkwardness?
> 
> all ur comments and kudos are appreciated! thank u so much
> 
> twitter: smiiefiowers
> 
> have a wonderful day ur ults n i hope ur smiling always!


	7. if dating u means ur nicer to me, will u marry me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **and make it double** : is he possessed oh god
> 
>  **and make it double** : JIHOON CAN U HEAR ME
> 
>  **thegr8** : this is a text message hyung he can only read it
> 
>  **and make it double** : u mean the DEMON can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so much love and support?? this is WILD thank u all so much im cryignsn 
> 
> so many of u all are worried abt wonwoo being mean 2 mingyu all the time i promise u everything will turn out okay!
> 
> this chapter contains: scarred seungkwan, surprisingly loving jihoon n seoksoon's innuendos
> 
> here is: seungkwan enters jihoon's studio at the wrong time

_**rip seungkwan 2k17** , 8:17pm_

 

 **boo boo the fool** : GUYS OMG

[ _**boo boo the fool** has renamed the chat " **EMEGRNECYE** "_ ]

 **Lee Jihoon** : Seungkwan, calm down

 **Lee Jihoon** : It wasn't what it looked like

 **boo boo the fool** : WHAT ELSE IS U MAKING OUT W SEUNGCHEOL HYUNG MEANT 2 BE THEN?????

 **wonwhy** : what

 **a fucking nerd** : the

 **thegr8** : FUCK

 **prepare for trouble** : ohoho seungcheol hyung getting some ;)))

 **and make it double** : woo go seungcheol hyung ;)))

 **thicc** **daddy** : please, you guys, it's nothing

 **boo boo the fool** : NOTHING

 **boo boo the fool** : YALL WERENT EVEN CASUALLY KISSING

 **boo boo the fool** : IT WAS LIKE

 **boo boo the fool** : FULL OUT ALMOST FUCKING IF I DIDNT WALK IN

 **Lee Jihoon** : And so what if we were?

 **thicc daddy** : JIHOON

 **thegr8** : omg even jihoon hyung is confirming it

 **thegr8** : the rumours are: true

 **Lee Jihoon** : Look, you said so yourself, they're gonna find out eventually

 **Lee Jihoon** : So we may as well tell them before they find out on the news or something

 **thicc daddy** : hhh ok fine

 **thicc daddy** : so when i went to get jihoon a couple of days ago, i accidentally kissed him

 **wonwhy** : "accidentally" he says

 **wonwhy** : we all know that you've wanted 2 fuck jihoon forever

 **Lee Jihoon** : . Interesting

 **thicc daddy** : NOT TRUE

 **a fucking nerd** : continue w ur story pls

 **thicc daddy** : so then it became rlly awkward

 **thicc daddy** : bc idk if jihoon liked me back

 **prepare for trouble** : this is like some sappy teen romance novel

 **prepare for trouble** : i love it

 **thicc daddy** : so i went to talk to him today to sort things out bc hes my friend and i don't want him to be awkward bc of me

 **The Baby™** : aw! hyung that's rlly cute (≧∀≦)

 **thicc daddy** : then, one thing led to another and...

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : ok that's not as cute

 **thicc daddy** : and yeah that's all

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : so are you and jihoon hyung dating???????

 **angel** : ^^^ spill

 **Lee Jihoon** : We are.

 **thicc daddy** : wait

 **thicc daddy** : we are???

 **thegr8** : tfw ur in a relationship but u don't even know u are

 **wonwhy** : lol

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : lol

 **wonwhy** : ew

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : :(

 **Lee Jihoon** : Yeah, we are.

 **thicc daddy** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **the only normal one** : aw u guys! that's really cute :)

 **the only normal one** : im so happy for u!

 **angel** : me 2

 **angel** : but if anymore of my kids walk in on u fucking im kicking u out the band

 **Lee Jihoon** : Noted.

[ _**prepare for trouble** has renamed the chat " **I LOVE MY PARENTS** "_ ]

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : jihoon hyung does this mean ur gonna be xtra nice to seungcheol hyung

 **wonwhy** : hes got a point

 **wonwhy** : if dating u means ur nicer to me, will u marry me?

 **thegr8** : ^

 **a fucking nerd** : ^

 **and make it double** : ^

 **prepare for trouble** : ^

 **thicc daddy** : GUYS U CANT MARRY HIM HES MY BOYFRIEND

 **angel** : hes right

 **angel** : u gotta wait until they're broken up first

 **thicc daddy** : im

 **wonwhy** : ur right jeonghan hyung we'll wait

 **wonwhy** : but i call dibs

 **Lee Jihoon** : Calm down

 **Lee Jihoon** : Just because I'm dating Seungcheol, doesn't mean I'm gonna go easy on him

 **thicc daddy** : wait

 **thicc daddy** : really

 **and make it double** : LOL

 **Lee Jihoon** : Is that what you were expecting?

 **Lee Jihoon** : If anything, I'm gonna make you work harder, Seungcheol

 **prepare for trouble** : RIPPP

 **a fucking nerd** : lol that's kinda kinky jihoon

 **Lee Jihoon** : I would kick you out, Jun

 **Lee Jihoon** : But I'm in a good mood, so I'll let it slide

 **The Baby™** : is that good mood because of seungcheol hyung??

 **Lee Jihoon** : Well

 **Lee Jihoon** : Yeah, it is

 **Lee Jihoon** : ♡

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : did he just

 **boo boo the foo** l: omg hyung r u ok

 **wonwhy** : a heart??????

 **wonwhy** : seungcheol hyung what have u done

 **and make it double** : is he possessed oh god

 **and make it double** : JIHOON CAN U HEAR ME

 **thegr8** : this is a text message hyung he can only read it

 **and make it double** : u mean the DEMON can

 **Lee Jihoon** : Guys, calm down

 **Lee Jihoon** : Is it really that out of character for me to use a heart?

 **a fucking nerd** : to put it simply

 **a fucking nerd** : YES

 **a fucking nerd** : IVE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT WYD

 **Lee Jihoon** : I'll use it more, then

 **boo boo the fool** : WHAT IS GOING ON TODAY IM PERPLEXED

 **thegr8** : didn't know u knew that word tbh

 **boo boo the fool** : NOT NOW MYUNGHO

 **a fucking nerd** : myuNGHO

 **thegr8** : u PROMISED

[ _**a fucking nerd** changed **thegr8** ’s screename to: **myungHOE**_ ]

 **myungHOE** : JUN WHAT THE FUCK

 **prepare for trouble** : guys?? we're missing the point here????

 **wonwhy** : shit u's right

[ _**wonwhy** has changed **Lee Jihoon** 's screeename to: **seungcheol's softie uwu**_ ]

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Wonwoo, please

 **wonwhy** : if u get to fuck seungcheol, i get to do this

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Techincally, I haven't.

 **wonwhy** : are u saying ur never gonna????

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : ...Well

 **wonwhy** : i rest my case

 **prepare for trouble** : DJKSJKSJJ THEY GONNA BUMP UGLIES

 **and make it double** : THEY GONNA HAVE THE SEXY TIMES

 **prepare for trouble** : THEY GONNA GET B U S Y

 **and make it double** : THEY GONNA MAKE _LOVE_

 **prepare for trouble** : THEY GONNA DO THE DIRTY

 **and make it double** : THEY GONNA HAVE SE X

[ _**prepare for trouble** has left the chat_ ]

[ _**and make it double** has left the chat_ ]

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Even Seungcheol can't put me in _that_ good a mood.

 

———

 

_Direct message to: **seungcheol's** **softie** **uwu**_

 

 **thicc daddy** : jihoon

 **thicc daddy** : did u mean what u said earlier?

 **thicc daddy** : about us, u know

 **thicc daddy** : dating?

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Well, why wouldn't I?

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : We both like each other, dating's just putting a label on it

 **thicc daddy** : i mean, don't get me wrong, i rlly like u

 **thicc daddy** : but don't u think we're going a bit 2 fast????

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Seungcheol, there's no such thing as going too fast

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : I'm pretty sure I've felt this way towards you for a long time, but it took your confession to bring it out

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Besides, we'll always be friends

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : If either of us ever feels like it's gonna be too much, we can always go back to that

 **thicc daddy** : u really think so?

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : I know so.

 **thicc daddy** : woah

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : What?

 **thicc daddy** : soonyoung was right 

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : ??

 **thicc daddy** : i think a demon _has_ possessed you

[ _**You can no longer send direct messages to this person**_ ]

 **thicc daddy** : JIHOON [ _unsent_ ]

 **thicc daddy** : IM KIDDING OMG IM SORRY [ _unsent_ ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they did it!!!! i love boyfriends!!!! woo!!!!
> 
> quick psa: i know i reference jihoon as being mean n cold go the members but it's not true! this is just meant 2 be a joke amongst the members he really is sweet n kind n he cares n loves for all the members pls don't send hate love u xoxo
> 
> thank u for all the kudos n comments, they never fail to make me smile ❤️
> 
> twitter: smiiefiowers
> 
> i hope ur day is as wonderful as seventeen!


	8. not today, bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **wonwhy** : 11:11 death
> 
>  **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Wait a minute
> 
>  **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Wonwoo, you were meant to help with lyrics about half an hour ago
> 
>  **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Where were you?
> 
>  **wonwhy** : well would u look at that
> 
>  **wonwhy** : my wish is gonna come true

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im back w another trashy update
> 
> omg so many of u are concerned for mingyu i PROMISE wonwoo will start treating him better ok just give the poor boy some time he hates mingyu for a reason i swear
> 
> this has been getting so much love! i say this every update hhh but thank u so much for reading this i love u all 
> 
> this chapter contains: seventeen's 11:11 wishes, exposed™ mingyu, and seungcheol's terrible attempt at humour
> 
> i give to you: seventeen at 11:11 
> 
> enjoy!

_**I LOVE MY PARENTS** , 11:09am_

 

 **The Baby™** : hyungs! it's almost 11:11!

 **The Baby™** : do u know what ur gonna wish for??

 **the only normal one** : you can't possibly believe in that stuff?

 **the** **only normal one** : wishing at 11:11 won't do anything, chan

 **The Baby™** : its still fun to try!

 **the only normal one** : still isn't it something a child does?

 **the only normal one** : im sure no one here does

 **The Baby™** : 11:11!

 **angel** : 11:11 even nicer hair

 **prepare for trouble** : 11:11 a solo song @ pledis

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : 11:11 To leave this group

 **thicc daddy** : 11:11 jihoon + the rest of the members well!!

 **The Baby™** : 11:11 to become the best dancer EVER!!!!!

 **and make it double** : 11:11 jihoon to USE MY LYRICS

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Forget it, Soonyoung

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : 11:11 pups n dogs everywhere happy!!!!!

 **a fucking nerd** : 11:11 pledis to realise how beautiful i am and GIVE ME MORE LINES

 **myungHOE** : 11:11 jun's death

 **a fucking nerd** : :((((

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : 11:11 carats and family safe and happy

 **boo boo the fool** : 11:11 iu sunbaenim collab pls

 **wonwhy** : 11:11 death

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Wait a minute

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Wonwoo, you were meant to help with lyrics about half an hour ago

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Where were you?

 **wonwhy** : well would u look at that

 **wonwhy** : my wish is gonna come true

 **The Baby™** : jisoo hyung, it works!

 **the only normal one** : i

 **myungHOE** : does this mean mine will come true as well

 **a fucking nerd** : why r u so mean to me

 **a fucking nerd** : i suck ur dick n this is how u repay me?? racism

 **boo boo the fool** : WAIT WHAT

 **a fucking nerd** : calm down it's a joke omg

 **boo boo the fool** : u say that hyung but with everything that's happened this week i wouldn't be surprised

 **angel** : ^^

 **myungHOE** : oh PLEASE i wouldn't let a crusty ass hoe like jun around MY dick

 **a fucking nerd** : nice to know you've always got my back bro

 **myungHOE** : always ;*

 **wonwhy** : lol gay

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : but i thought u were gay too, hyung??

 **wonwhy** : so what if i was

 **wonwhy** : i can still laugh at other ppl

 **wonwhy** : and aren't u one to talk

 **myungHOE** : wdym

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : HYUNG NO DONT

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : YOU PROMISED

 **wonwhy** : lol u actually trusted me

 **wonwhy** : cute

 **myungHOE** : "cute"

 **boo boo the fool** : "cute"

 **angel** : "cute"

 **wonwhy** : shut up i meant it in a mean way

 **a fucking nerd** : guys chill, he meant cute in a _bad_ way

 **wonwhy** : nice 2 know u've got my back hyung

 **a fucking nerd** : ....wonwoo

 **wonwhy** : OH that was sarcasm

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : lol

 **wonwhy** : oh yeah where was i

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : HYU NG

 **wonwhy** : last night i went into the practice room to check if anyone was still there b4 turning the lights off

 **wonwhy** : and guess what i saw

 **The Baby™** : what did you see, hyung?

 **wonwhy** : my dear chan, i shall tell you what i saw

 **wonwhy** : this is what i saw

[ _**#1 doggo enthusiast** has left the chat_ ]

 **wonwhy** : why is that when i ask him to leave he doesn't but when i actually want him here so i can expose him he leaves??

 **myungHOE** : what a surprise

 **the only normal one** : that's a pretty normal response to being exposed wonwoo, i don't blame for leaving

 **the only normal one** : maybe you could let this slide?

 **wonwhy** : not today, bitch

[ _**wonwhy** added **#1 doggo enthusiast**_ ]

 **myungHOE** : omg this role reversal usually its wonwoo kicking him not adding him

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : is it over yet

 **wonwhy** : u wish

 **wonwhy** : ANYWAY

 **wonwhy** : i saw the one n only mr. kim mingyu, clutching soonyoung hyung's custom made taemin body pillow n crying on the floor

 **and make it double** : YOU BITCH

 **and make it double** : THATS WHERE MY BBY WENT

 **myungHOE** : can u even blame him though

 **myungHOE** : taemin is hot i'd let him do me every which way

 **prepare for trouble** : BIG FAT MOOD

 **and make it double** : BACK THE FUCK OFF BITCHES I CLAIMED HIM FIRST

[ _**a fucking nerd** has renamed the chat " **dicks out 4 mr. lee taemin** "_ ]

 **and make it double** : BIT CH

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : but why was mingyu hyung crying

 **wonwhy** : ask him urself

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : i mean, can u blame me??

 **#1 doggo enthusiast** : hes so pretty?? when will i ever

 **angel** : i already have

[ _**angel** has left the chat_ ]

 **and make it double** : NO ONE insults taemin's beauty n gets away with it

 **boo boo the fool** : u know reading all this

 **boo boo the fool** : i feel a new screename coming on

[ _**boo boo the fool** has changed **#1 doggo enthusiast** 's screename to: **#1 gay**_ ]

 **myungHOE** : thats what u felt coming on?

 **#1 gay** : ...seungkwan

 **boo boo the fool** : no need to thank me hyung

 **#1 gay** : im really not

 **The Baby™** : how come everyone else gets really cool nicknames but i'm stuck with this one :((

 **myungHOE** : 'really cool nicknames'

 **a fucking nerd** : 'really cool nicknames'

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : 'really cool nicknames'

 **boo boo the fool** : 'really cool nicknames'

 **The Baby™** : ok nvm

[ _**the only normal one** added **angel**_ ]

 **angel** : fucking finally

 **the only normal one** : i personally, do not have my dick out for this mr. lee taemin but whatever

 **myungHOE** : jisoo hyung, a whole straight

 **the only normal one** : lol no why would i ever when i could be gay have you even seen boys??

 **prepare for trouble** : idk abt u guys that's my reasoning for being gay

 **prepare for trouble** : " _why be straight when u can be gay_ "

 **wonwhy** : me

 **and make it double** : wait a minute

 **and make it double** : i can't find my taemin pillow

 **#1 gay** : ...

 **boo boo the fool** : omg hyung did u keep it

 **#1 gay** : uhm

[ _**#1 gay** has left the chat_ ]

 **and make it double** : MINGYU U LITTLE SHIT IM GONNA KILL U GIVE ME BACK TAEMIN

 **thicc daddy** : why are our dicks out for taemin?

 **thicc daddy** : mine is only out for jihoon

[ _**wonwhy** has left the chat_ ]

[ _**WORST cereal method** has left the chat_ ]

[ _**and make it double** has left the chat_ ]

[ _**prepare for trouble** has left the chat _ ]

[ _**the only normal one** has left the chat_ ]

[ _**myungHOE** has left the chat_ ]

[ _**a fucking nerd** has left the chat_ ]

[ _**The Baby™** has left the chat_ ]

[ _**seungcheol's softie uwu** has left the chat_ ]

[ _**angel** has left the chat_ ]

[ _**boo boo the fool** has left the chat_ ]

 **thicc daddy** : YOU GUYS

 **thicc daddy** : OH COME ON THAT WAS FUNNY

 **thicc daddy** : GUYS

 **thicc daddy** : forget this my dick isn't out for any one of u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> save seungcheol omg he tried his hardest
> 
> ok but no one can tell me that it's just soonyoung who has an obsession with a k-idol i feel like it's mingyu as well but whatever i could be wrong
> 
> all kudos and comments are appreciated! they make my day thank u (:
> 
> also quick question, do you guys want me to add more dms between characters? i always start to but then it gets more serious and idk if yall want that shsjns 
> 
> twitter: smiiefiowers
> 
> have a beautiful day ❤️


	9. the plot thickens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **myungHOE** : shouldnt you be happy about that wonwoo
> 
>  **wonwhy** : what
> 
>  **wonwhy** : oh
> 
>  **wonwhy** : yeah, i am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would just like to apologise in advance (you'll see why soon enough) 
> 
> 1.9k reads!!!!!! what???? that's wild thank u so much u all have my heart 
> 
> thic chapter contains: bullied chan, conflicted wonwoo, and all knowing jihoon
> 
> here is: mingyu gets a part in a drama 
> 
> (i know law of the jungle happened a while back but i felt like it would help the story so let's just pretend it happened now thanks)

_**dicks out 4 mr. lee taemin** , 8:07pm_

 

 **#1 gay** : guys!!! guess what!!!

 **thicc daddy** : this better be important

 **thicc daddy** : im with jihoon right now

 **#1 gay** : ew no thanks

 **#1 gay** : but! i got a part in a drama!!!!

 **thicc daddy** : thats amazing!

 **the only normal one** : well done, mingyu

 **The Baby™** : aaa hyung thats so cool well done!!!

 **prepare for trouble** : hey good job

 **myungHOE** : thats good well done mingyu

 **#1 gay** : i'm gonna have to travel overseas for a while though

 **#1 gay** : a week or two

 **wonwhy** : wait what

 **#1 gay** : i mean, i can't expect the staff to come here lol

 **wonwhy** : a whole week though?

 **wonwhy** : isnt that a bit much

 **#1 gay** : we have a lot to film, so idk

 **#1 gay** : are you ok hyung???

 **myungHOE** : shouldnt you be happy about that wonwoo

 **wonwhy** : what

 **wonwhy** : oh

 **wonwhy** : yeah, i am

 **The Baby™** : it doesn't look like it, hyung

 **The Baby™** : are you okay?

 **wonwhy** : shut the fuck up chan

 **thicc daddy** : hey that's kind of uncalled for

 **wonwhy** : him poking his nose into my business is uncalled for too

 **The Baby™** : i'm sorry, hyung

 **wonwhy** : yeah well

 **wonwhy** : how does that help

 **the only normal one** : wonwoo, i don't think this is appropriate

 **the only normal one** : not only is chan apologising for something he didn't do, you're gonna be mean to him for it

 **wonwhy** : i didn't ask you either jisoo hyung

 **myungHOE** : dude cut it out

 **wonwhy** : im sick of this

[ _**wonwhy** has left the chat_ ]

 **The Baby™** : i didn't mean to upset him!

 **thicc daddy** : you didn't do anything, chan

 **thicc daddy** : i think something's bothering him

 **a fucking nerd** : should i go talk to him?

 **the only normal one** : i think that's best

 **#1 gay** : no wait

 **#1 gay** : i want to be the one to talk to him about this

 **myungHOE** : um r u ok

 **myungHOE** : if u haven't noticed, he hates ur guts

 **#1 gay** : no i know

 **#1 gay** : i just feel responsible

 **#1 gay** : chan doesn't deserve this either

 **thicc daddy** : im not sure that's a good idea

 **thicc daddy** : no offence, but you might make things worse

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : No

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Let him go

 **the only normal one** : are you sure??

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : I have a good feeling about this

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : uh if it helps i saw him head back to the dorms

 **#1 gay** : thank you!!!

[ _**#1 gay** has left the chat_ ]

 **prepare for trouble** : damn

 **prepare for trouble** : what happened with those two

 **a fucking nerd** : ikr they were so close predebut

 **angel** : wonwoo's hiding something

 **angel** : something's upsetting him

 **boo boo the fool** : do you know what it is???

 **angel** : i wish i knew :/

 **myungHOE** : i feel like i have an idea

 **the only normal one** : what?

 **myungHOE** : im not gonna say anything in case im wrong

 **myungHOE** : but i might be right

 **and make it double** : the dorms are empty

 **and make it double** : did they go somewhere??

 **a fucking nerd** : _the plot thickens_

 **angel** : i think we should just leave them alone

 **angel** : they've got a lot to discuss

 **The Baby™** : should i go apologise??

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : No, dont

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Wonwoo needs to realise

 **a fucking nerd** : realise what tho

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : When he realises, he'll tell you

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Its not my place to say

 **thicc daddy** : hes not in trouble, is he?

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Oh, no

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : He'll be fine

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Trust me on this

 

  
_Direct message to: **wonwhy**_

 

 **#1 gay** : hyung please

 **#1 gay** : im so sorry

 **wonwhy** : why are you apologising??

 **#1 gay** : honestly

 **#1 gay** : i don't know

 **#1 gay** : but i feel like i upset you and i wanna make up for it

 **wonwhy** : if you don't know, don't come asking me

 **#1 gay** : hyung

 **#1 gay** : i wanna fix things

 **#1 gay** : please

 **wonwhy** : why? so things can go back to what they were?

 **#1 gay** : yes

 **#1 gay** : please

 **#1 gay** : i miss you, hyung

 **#1 gay** : i miss you all the _time_  

 **#1 gay** : please stop pushing me away

 **wonwhy** : god, stop begging

 **wonwhy** : we're not getting back together

 **wonwhy** : that was just casual fucking, mingyu

 **#1 gay** : hyung dont say things you don't mean

 **#1 gay** : i know you're upset, but don't go there

 **wonwhy** : who said i didn't mean it?

 **#1 gay** : but that night

 **#1 gay** : you promised, hyung

 **wonwhy** : that was before, mingyu

 **wonwhy** : stop living in the past

 **#1 gay** : i just want to see you one more time

 **#1 gay** : hyung please

 **#1 gay** : don't do this

 **wonwhy** : i'm done talking about this

 **#1 gay** : hyung

 **#1 gay** : hyung wait

[ _**You can no longer send direct messages to this person**_ ]

 **#1 gay** : hyung please no [ _unsent_ ]

 **#1 gay** : i miss you [ _unsent_ ]

 **#1 gay** : i still love you [ _unsent_ ]

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no words im so sorry
> 
> once again, please remember this doesn't reflect the members in real life! wonwoo may joke about hating mingyu but they really do love each other (as friends, as far as we know) so please don't take this to be true omg
> 
> all kudos and comments are appreciated! thank u so much uwu
> 
> twitter: smiiefiowers
> 
> i hope u have a great day! ❤️


	10. it's 2017, minghao

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **the only normal one** : i can't believe you're targeting me when jeonghan _exists_
> 
>  **the only normal one** : at least i'm not crying into my favourite sweatshirt while holding a picture of mingyu sobbing "I MISS HIM ALREADY"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2k reads im SCREAMING thank u so much !!!!!!!!!! this has gotten so much love im full thank u thank u thank u i love u all :')
> 
> this chapter contains: worried parent jisoo, dense seungcheol and motherly jeonghan (the comeback)
> 
> here is: mingyu leaves for lotj
> 
> enjoy!

_**dicks out 4 mr. lee taemin** , 5:31am_

 

 **the only normal one** : are you completely packed?

 **#1 gay** : yes hyung

 **the only normal one** : do you have all your chargers?

 **#1 gay** : yes hyung

 **the only normal one** : did you bring 2 bottles of water with you, like i said?

 **#1 gay** : yes hyung

 **thicc daddy** : jisoo please leave the poor boy alone

 **thicc daddy** : he's going for a week, not a year

 **the only normal one** : i can't believe you're targeting me when jeonghan _exists_

 **the only normal one** : at least i'm not crying into my favourite sweatshirt while holding a picture of mingyu sobbing "I MISS HIM ALREADY"

 **myungHOE** : hyung wtf u ok

 **angel** : NNO

 **angel** : IM GNNONA MISS YPU SO MUHC MINGYUYU

 **a fucking nerd** : that was painful to read oh my god

 **#1 gay** : i'll miss you too hyung

 **angel** : NO YOU WNOT

 **angel** : IM GNONA CALL YPU EVRY GODMAN DAY

 **#1 gay** : i don't think u can do that uh

 **angel** : I DNOT CARE

 **angel** : STAY SFAE OKAY I LVOE YOU SO MUCH

 **#1 gay** : i will hyung, thank you

 **myungHOE** : try not to die

 **myungHOE** : also if there are any cute girls take pictures of give me their number

 **a fucking nerd** : i thought u were gay?

 **myungHOE** : this dick just goes for whoever looks good i don't make the rules

 **#1 gay** : i will, minghao

 **a fucking nerd** : do well, if u need acting tips just ask me B)

 **prepare for trouble** : hyung u only acted properly when u were younger

 **a fucking nerd** : I WAS A GODDAMN STAR

 **prepare for trouble** : anyway

 **prepare for trouble** : stay safe mingyu! tell us how it goes

 **#1 gay** : of course

 **thicc daddy** : have fun

 **The Baby™** : ur gonna wow everyone!!!!

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : don't get planesick

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : or carsick

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : u know what just don't get sick

 **boo boo the fool** : ^ + if u see someone famous get a signature ASAP !!!!!!!!!

 **and make it double** : ur gonna do great!!!!! ur not my favourite dongsaeng 4 nothing ;)

 **prepare for trouble** : i thought i was ur favourite dongsaeng??

 **and make it double** : nah u my favourite bro, bro

 **prepare for trouble** : ... _bro_

 **#1 gay** : ahh thank you guys

 **#1 gay** : um

 **#1 gay** : have any of u seen wonwoo hyung?

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : We're on a walk now

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : He says 'good luck'

 **#1 gay** : wait

 **#1 gay** : really????

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Well, not exactly

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : He said 'just say whatever', so I interpreted it as this

 **#1 gay** : oh

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : But I'm confident you'll do well

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Use this time wisely; think over things, get your emotions in check

 **#1 gay** : yeah

 **#1 gay** : i will, thank you hyung

 **myungHOE** : wtf hyung did u use a semi colon in text??

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Its 2017, Minghao

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : I'm not going to text like a barbarian despite you all insisting on it

 **and make it double** : he called us barbarians

 **and make it double** : nice

 **the only normal one** : i

 **#1 gay** : oh the uber driver texted me he'll be here in five minutes

 **#1 gay** : jihoon hyung is there any way you can get wonwoo hyung back here before then?

 **#1 gay** : i want to talk to him

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : I think you know what my answer is, Mingyu

 **#1 gay** : yeah

 **#1 gay** : i should have expected that

 **#1 gay** : i still don't know what i did though

 **a fucking nerd** : maybe you're too pretty for him

 **a fucking nerd** : to the point where he's been in tears

 **a fucking nerd** : i mean, who here hasn't cried over a pretty guy/girl/whatever

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : good point

 **#1 gay** : what no way

 **#1 gay** : have you even seen wonwoo hyung???

 **#1 gay** : i could never be prettier than him

 **boo boo the fool** : looks like my nickname came in handy after all

 **thicc daddy** : wait

 **thicc daddy** : mingyu, do you like wonwoo???

 **myungHOE** : hyung r u fucking kidding me

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Seungcheol, I love you and all

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : But you're incredibly dense

 **thicc daddy** : wait so you all knew??

 **myungHOE** : yeah

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Yes

 **a fucking nerd** : yup

 **prepare for trouble** : yes

 **and make it double** : yh

 **boo boo the fool** : yeah

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : yeah

 **angel** : yeah

 **the only normal one** : pretty much, yeah

 **The Baby™** : yeah!

 **#1 gay** : i didn't exactly hide it, hyung

 **thicc daddy:** o h

 **#1 gay** : well, my cab's here

 **angel** : HJSNSJHSISHIEYEN

 **a fucking nerd** : rt

 **the only normal one** : do you want us to see you off?

 **#1 gay** : no it's ok

 **#1 gay** : its just a week

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Stay safe, Mingyu

 **#1 gay** : will do hyung

 **#1 gay** : can you tell wonwoo hyung i said bye??

 **#1 gay** : he doesn't have to say anything back i just wanted him to know i said bye

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Okay

 **#1 gay** : bye, guys!!!!

 **The Baby™** : bye hyung!

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : see u soon hyung

 **boo boo the fool** : have fun hyung!!

 **a fucking nerd** : don't die mingyu

 **myungHOE** : dont u dare leave me on read hoe

 **angel** : ILVOEW YOU

 **thicc daddy** : stay safe!

 **the only normal one** : remember what i told you!

 **prepare for trouble** : ur gonna be a star hyung!

 **and make it double** : mention us in all awards ok

 **#1 gay** : bye, everyone!

 **#1 gay** : i'll miss you all :(

 **angel** : HJJISJIUIW

 **the only normal one** : he means 'i'll miss you too'

 **a fucking nerd** : how did u

 **the only normal one** : it's a gift

 

———

 

_Direct message to: **wonwhy**_

 

 **#1 gay** : hyung?

 **#1 gay** : oh, you've unblocked me

 **#1 gay** : that's good

 **#1 gay** : you don't have to respond, just let me talk please

 **#1 gay** : i really wish we could have talked before i went, but it's fine

 **#1 gay** : if you really don't care about me anymore, it's fine

 **#1 gay** : i don't blame you

 **#1 gay** : just,, stay safe okay

 **#1 gay** : fuck this is hard to say

 **#1 gay** : even if you hate me, i'm gonna miss you most, hyung

 **#1 gay** : take care of yourself

 **#1 gay** : i'm sorry for making you upset

 **#1 gay** : hopefully when i'm back, i'll be over you

 **#1 gay** : god, i hope so

 **#1 gay** : oh, we're boarding soon

 **#1 gay** : i hope you're reading these hyung

 **#1 gay** : i just wish i could explain this all in person

 **#1 gay** : i'm gonna go now

 **#1 gay** : bye, hyung

[ _Read at: 6:24am_ ]

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember! these are characters written in my perspective i can almost guarantee none of these conversations have taken place!!! 
> 
> all your kudos and comments are appreciated ily all thank u!
> 
> twitter: smiiefiowers
> 
> have the bestest day u deserve it ❤️


	11. forget pampering, this is nirvana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Guys, behave
> 
>  **myungHOE** : sorry hyung
> 
>  **a fucking nerd** : sorry hyung
> 
>  **a fucking nerd** : wait a minute im _ur_ hyung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh i'm so sorry for not updating yesterday!! my mom came home so i spent some time with her lol i promise i'll be more frequent!
> 
> i can actually see screenshots of this fic on my social medias?? and people are dming saying they like this?? WILD thank u so much 
> 
> this chapter contains: love guru jihoon, seventeen's saviour seungcheol, and confused wonwoo
> 
> here is: seventeen gets another day off
> 
> enjoy!

_Direct message to: **wonwhy**_

 

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Wonwoo hyung, stop ignoring me

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : You know you're going to have to face me eventually

 **wonwhy** : no, i don't

 **wonwhy** : seungkwan's dorm snack collection is larger than you'd think

 **wonwhy** : i could live here for years

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Wonwoo...

 **wonwhy** : i know, i know, its not "healthy" or whatever

 **wonwhy** : but i'm not ready to deal with it right now

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : That's fine for now, I guess

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : But when Mingyu's back, he's gonna be expecting something from you

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : You owe him closure, at least. Poor boy's been hung up over you for so long

 **wonwhy** : yeah

 **wonwhy** : i'll think of something

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Okay

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : In the meantime, please keep away from Seungkwan's snack collection, he's hungry

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : And a hungry Seungkwan is _not_ a happy Seungkwan

 **wonwhy** : noted

 **wonwhy** : again, thanks for hearing me out

 **wonwhy** : sorry for whining and stuff

 **seungcheol's** **softie uwu** : No problem, Wonwoo hyung

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Now you better run or Seungkwan might eat _you_

 

———

 

_**dicks out 4 mr. lee taemin** , 09:07am_

 

 **thicc daddy** : boys, i am ur saviour

 **myungHOE** : how exactly are u that

 **thicc daddy** : i just convinced the manager to give us the day off

 **a fucking nerd** : omg how

 **thicc daddy** : i told him that since mingyu wasn't here there wasn't any point in us doing anything lmao

 **angel** : BLESS YOU I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO DO

 **the only normal one** : like what?

 **angel** : sleep

 **prepare for trouble** : DUDE SOONYOUNG BRO DO U WANNA GO TO THE MALL I HEARD THEYRE OPENING A NEW CUPCAKE SHOP

 **and make it double** : OMG U ALREADY KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS

 **prepare for trouble** : FREE

 **and make it double** : SAMPLES

 **myungHOE** : cheap ass hoes

 **prepare for trouble** : oh i'm sorry ur _highness_ what are ur plans?

 **myungHOE** : im pampering myself

 **myungHOE** : hanging out w u guys is too stressful i need a break every once in a while

 **The Baby™** : ahh do u think i can go to the arcade????

 **thicc daddy** : i don't see why not

 **The Baby™** : yes!!!!

 **The Baby™** : what are your plans, hyung?

 **thicc daddy** : well, ever since jihoon and i got together, we haven't been on a date

 **thicc daddy** : or properly _alone_ , so...

 **boo boo the fool** : ew hyung no one asked

 **thicc daddy** : but chan just

[ _**The Baby™** has left the chat_ ]

 **boo boo the fool** : ew hyung no one asked

 **a fucking nerd** : lol

[ _**thicc daddy** added **The Baby™**_ ]

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : well no one come into my room, okay

 **myungHOE** : why what r u up to

 **a fucking nerd** : u got a girl?

 **myungHOE** : no i don't think he does

 **a fucking nerd** : u mean he's into guys??

 **myungHOE** : i think he's more into his right hand

 **and make it double** : HJSNKSNK OMGG

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : I MEANT IM HAVING A MOVIE MARATHON AND I DONT WANNA BE DISTURBED OH MY GOD

 **myungHOE** : yeah but

 **myungHOE** : what kind of _movies_ u watching hansol?

 **The Baby™** : i don't get it??

 **the only normal one** : lucky you

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : IM NOT DOING ANYTHING LIKE THAT

 **myungHOE** : its okay, we don't judge

 **a fucking nerd** : we just expect you to share!

 **prepare for trouble** : uh no thanks

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Guys, behave

 **myungHOE** : sorry hyung

 **a fucking nerd** : sorry hyung

 **a fucking nerd** : wait a minute im _ur_ hyung

 **myungHOE** : idiot

 **a fucking nerd** : im ur hyung, too

 **myungHOE** : shit

 **a fucking nerd** : hey so guess what i'm doing today

 **myungHOE** : suddenly i have to leave

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Me too

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : what do u know so do i

 **a fucking nerd** : GUYS

 **the only normal one** : its okay jun, im listening

 **a fucking nerd** : thank you, hyung!

 **a fucking nerd** : i'm meeting up with one of my friends from china!!

 **a fucking nerd** : turns out he's in town for a bit, so i thought i'd show him around

 **myungHOE** : omg can i come

 **prepare for trouble** : i thought u were pampering urself??

 **myungHOE** : i was gonna

 **myungHOE** : then i realised that if i went with jun and his friend, i could get SO much dirt on baby jun!

 **a fucking nerd** : oh my fucking god

 **myungHOE** : forget pampering, this is nirvana

 **boo boo the fool** : how is the band related in any way?

 **boo boo the fool** : ...

 **boo boo the fool** : guys????

 

———

 

_Direct message to: **#1 gay**_

 

 **wonwhy** : minygu

 **wonwhy** : are ypu onnlien

 **#1 gay** : yeah, just finished filming

 **#1 gay** : wait a minute u just texted me

 **#1 gay** : are you okay????

 **wonwhy** : no imn ot fukcjng pkay

 **#1 gay** : are you drunk, hyung?

 **wonwhy** : i may hvae had a frw drikns

 **#1 gay** : few?

 **wonwhy** : one

 **wonwhy** : tqo

 **wonwhy** : sjx

 **#1 gay** : jesus

 **wonwhy** : no, im wnowoo

 **#1 gay** : funny

 **#1 gay** : don't you have practice?

 **wonwhy** : mnager syas its piontles whitout ypu

 **wonwhy** : hes rjhht

 **#1 gay** : ???

 **wonwhy** : evettythung is poitnlesss wihtout uu minyug

 **wonwhy** : i ddnt maen wht i said

 **wonwhy** : i mjss u alk the fukjking tme

 **#1 gay** : hyung, go to bed

 **#1 gay** : you're saying things you don't mean

 **wonwhy** : i mnea it

 **wonwhy** : im sryry for bieng so mean

 **wonwhy** : iv jsut nvere lvoed nyonen liek i levo u

 **#1 gay** : hyung, please stop

 **#1 gay** : you're going to regret this

 **wonwhy** : i do

 **wonwhy** : i kvoe ypu

 **wonwhy** : so muhch

 **wonwhy** : i lvoe uur bestiful hiar, nd ypure grogoeus smiie an yior graet bodyyd

 **wonwhy** : minyu ur rlrly hot u konw

 **#1 gay** : okay, thats enough

 **#1 gay** : look hyung i really can't do this

 **#1 gay** : please go sleep

 **wonwhy** : but i mjss ypu

 **#1 gay** : no you don't

 **#1 gay** : this was meant to be me getting over you

 **wonwhy** : i dnot wnat u voer me

 **wonwhy** : i watn u....udner me

 **#1 gay** : forget this

 **wonwhy** : minguuy

 **wonwhy** : munguy plsese

[ **_You can no longer send direct messages to this person_** ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAA meanie need to get their shit together omg
> 
> all ur kudos and comments brighten my day u all have my heart thank u!!!!
> 
> twitter: smiiefiowers
> 
> i hope ur happy always ❤️


	12. jun, you're in charge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **a fucking nerd** : in this family, i'm like the uncle who gives the kids weed
> 
>  **WORST cereal mtheod** : what kind of family has that???
> 
>  **a fucking nerd** : this one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today i received a really nice message on twitter from one of you saying you enjoyed my fic and it made my day so i just wanted to say thank you, whoever you are!! 
> 
> this fic contains: longing mother jeonghan, weed uncle jun and reunited meanie
> 
> here is: seventeen pick mingyu up at the airport
> 
> enjoy!

_**dicks out 4 mr. lee taemin** , 10:03am_

 

 **thicc daddy** : alright kids, management's lazy so i'm gonna go pick mingyu up

 **thicc daddy** : who's coming with?

 **angel** : ME ME ME ME

 **angel** : I MISS MY SON

 **the only normal one** : i'll come too

 **the only normal one** : just to make sure that jeonghan hyung doesn't call mingyu his son in public

 **angel** : D:

 **wonwhy** : um

 **wonwhy** : i'd like to come too

 **and make it double** : wonwoo is that really you????

 **a fucking nerd** : i think wonwoo's high

 **a fucking nerd** : or drunk

 **a fucking nerd** : or both

 **myungHOE** : u ok hyung???

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Leave him alone

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Seungcheol, can Wonwoo hyung and I come along too?

 **thicc daddy** : i mean

 **thicc daddy** : i don't see why not

 **thicc daddy** : wonwoo, i thought you didn't like mingyu

 **wonwhy** : i don't wanna talk about it

 **wonwhy** : i just wanna go along with you guys

 **the only normal one** : thats no problem, then

 **boo boo the fool** : what are we supposed to do when you're gone?

 **boo boo the fool** : we can't have practice with half of us gone!

 **prepare for trouble** : ^^

 **thicc daddy** : shit i forgot abt that

 **thicc daddy** : jun, you're in charge

 **a fucking nerd** : WHAT

 **thicc daddy** : you're the oldest now

 **thicc daddy** : treat them well

 **myungHOE** : i changed my mind there's no way i can be left behind with jun hyung pls let me go with u

 **thicc daddy** : no, you stay

 **thicc daddy** : please, listen to what jun has to say

 **a fucking nerd** : oh man this is gonna be FUN

 **thicc daddy** : jun, be responsible

 **thicc daddy** : we're trusting u

 **a fucking nerd** : no promises

 **a fucking nerd** : in this family, i'm like the uncle who gives the kids weed

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : what kind of family has that???

 **a fucking nerd** : this one

 **myungHOE** : oh my god im gonna die

 **thicc daddy** : okay, we're going now

 **thicc daddy** : anything you want us to say to mingyu?

 **myungHOE** : tell him im sorry that i put all those bugs in his pillow

 **angel** : ???

 **myungHOE** : im gonna die with jun hyung in charge, so i may as well say my last words now

 **a fucking nerd** : FUCK YOU

 

———

 

_Direct message to: **wonwhy**_

 

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Do you really think this is a good idea?

 **wonwhy** : i told you what happened already

 **wonwhy** : i just wish i wasn't drunk when i told him how i felt

 **wonwhy** : at least now i can make things right

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : I don't know, hyung

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : From what it looked like, Mingyu seemed pretty annoyed at you

 **wonwhy** : i know

 **wonwhy** : but don't i at least get the chance to make it right?

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : You do, I guess

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Just...take his feelings into consideration, okay?

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Not that I'm taking sides, but you've put him through a lot of shit, hyung

 **wonwhy** : you're right

 **wonwhy** : i really fucked up

 **wonwhy** : i was just scared, jihoon, and i said things i didn't mean

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Hopefully you can make things right now

 **wonwhy** : yeah

 **wonwhy** : hopefully

 

———

 

_Direct message to: **#1 gay**_

 

 **wonwhy** : mingyu

 **wonwhy** : mingyu, please stop ignoring me

 **wonwhy** : if you don't wanna talk, at least text me

 **wonwhy** : ...

 **wonwhy** : mingyu, _please_

 **wonwhy** : i said i'm sorry a million times

 **wonwhy** : i don't know what else to do

 **#1 gay** : sound familiar?

 **wonwhy** : ???

 **#1 gay** : you gave me hell, wonwoo

 **#1 gay** : you made me feel bad for things i had no control over

 **#1 gay** : you made me feel like liking you was a mistake

 **wonwhy** : i told you, i was scared

 **wonwhy** : i didn't know what to do

 **#1 gay** : you're not the only scared one

 **#1 gay** : you think i'm used to this? that i just _usually_ fall for boys who seem to like me at first only to tell me that my love was stupid?

 **wonwhy** : mingyu, please

 **wonwhy** : i know what i did was wrong

 **wonwhy** : at least give me a chance to make it up to you

 **#1 gay** : this week was meant for me to get over you

 **#1 gay** : i was meant to come back feeling better, so we could go back to normal, like before it all began

 **#1 gay** : but then you text me, drunk, and just

 **#1 gay** : everything falls apart

 **wonwhy** : you're blaming me for missing you?

 **#1 gay** : no, im blaming you for doing things when it's most convenient for _you_

 **#1 gay** : you missed me, so you got drunk and texted me

 **#1 gay** : you didn't even begin to consider how _i_ felt

 **#1 gay** : and if it's gonna be like that, maybe you were right

 **#1 gay** : maybe we _should_ just forget this

 **wonwhy** : mingyu, no

 **wonwhy** : i know what i was did wrong, believe me

 **wonwhy** : i hate myself for what i did to you

 **wonwhy** : but you can't give up on us

 **wonwhy** : dont you remember what it was like?

 **#1 gay** : i also remember you telling me it was all in the past

 **wonwhy** : look

 **wonwhy** : i want you to forget everything i said before

 **wonwhy** : just focus on what i'm saying now

 **#1 gay** : how do i know you're not gonna hurt me again?

 **wonwhy** : just, trust me okay?

 **wonwhy** : i need you to give me a chance

 **wonwhy** : i need you to let me explain

 **wonwhy** : not over the phone, or through text, but in _person_

 **wonwhy** : can you do that?

 **#1 gay** : i don't know

 **wonwhy** : what dont you know?

 **#1 gay** : if im ready for this

 **#1 gay** : this messed me up, wonwoo

 **#1 gay** : i don't wanna get my heart broken again

 **wonwhy** : you won't

 **wonwhy** : i promise

 **#1 gay** : with everything that's happened, wonwoo, i'm not sure your promises hold the same meaning as they did before

 **#1 gay** : i'm sorry, hyung

 **wonwhy** : mingyu??

 **wonwhy** : mingyu please don't do this

 **wonwhy** : we can fix this, trust me

 **wonwhy** : mingyu, you're not making the right decision

 **wonwhy** : you can't give up on us like this

 **#1 gay** : i've made my decision, wonwoo hyung

 **#1 gay** : and i intend to stick to it

 **wonwhy** : i know we can do this mingyu please

 **wonwhy** : dont ignore me

 **wonwhy** : please

 **wonwhy** : we can do it, i swear 

[ _**You can no longer send direct messages to this person**_ ]

 **wonwhy** : mingyu, please [ _unsent_ ]

 **wonwhy** : i was rooting for us [ _unsent_ ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jesus i keep making this into even more of a mess with every chapter
> 
> i promise it'll be done next chapter, i need to focus more on the other characters!!!
> 
> thank you for your kudos and kind messages, they make me so happy!!!
> 
> twitter: smiiefiowers
> 
> have the best day i love u all ❤️


	13. operation save the children is a go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **angel** : i never usually ask u for help!!!!!
> 
>  **wonwhy** : really
> 
>  **wonwhy** : june 2nd, u asked me to pass u the milk
> 
>  **wonwhy** : june 3rd, u asked me to stall jihoon bc u didn't finish ur lyrics
> 
>  **wonwhy** : june 3rd again, u asked me to hold jihoon back when he tried to beat u up for not finishing ur lyrics
> 
>  **angel** : damn u keep track?
> 
>  **wonwhy** : i have to
> 
>  **wonwhy** : its the only way to survive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3k!!!! shut up this is UNREAL i love u all so much im so thankful aaaaaaa this fic got so much love so fast shjsns im soft,,,
> 
> so, hopefully this chapter makes y'all happy! i uploaded it early because i couldn't wait omg omg
> 
> this chapter contains: matchmaker jeonghan, his little helper chan, and soft seventeen
> 
> here is: seventeen have had enough of meanie's shit
> 
> enjoy!

_**dicks out 4 mr. lee taemin** , 7:01pm_

 

 **angel** : ok i've had enough

[ _**#1 gay** has left the chat_ ]

[ _**wonwhy** has left the chat_ ]

 **angel** : has anyone else noticed them acting all weird around each other??

 **the only normal one** : yeah, i have

 **the only normal one** : are they okay?

 **and make it double** : wonwoo's pretty bummed

 **the only normal one** : why?

 **and make it double** : wait

 **and make it double** : yall don't know?

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Soonyoung hyung, I don't think it's our place to say

 **angel** : fuck that

 **angel** : we need to help them

 **and make it double** : he's got a point, jihoon

 **and make it double** : we gave them time, they didn't do anything

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Whatever

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : When they come to kill you all, I wasn't here

 **angel** : fine whatever

 **and make it double** : they used 2 fuck right

 **thicc daddy** : I _KNEW_ IT

 **thicc daddy** : THERE WAS NO _WAY_ THAT MINGYU WAS JERKING WONWOO OFF BECAUSE HE SPRAINED HIS WRIST

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Oh my fucking god

 **prepare for trouble** : ....hyung

 **and make it double** : ANYWAY

 **and make it double** : mingyu caught feelings

 **and make it double** : but our boy here chickened out and said he hated mingyu when rlly he wanted to keep sucking his dick 4ever n ever

 **the only normal one** : how romantic

 **and make it double** : so mingyu was super sad

 **and make it double** : but tried 2 get over him

 **and make it double** : and then wonwoo got drunk off his bony ass n told mingyu here he loved him

 **boo boo the fool** : SHIT

 **myungHOE** : lmao wonwoo hyung is such an idiot

 **a fucking nerd** : what would u have done?

 **myungHOE** : the same thing probably

 **and make it double** : but mingyu didnt believe him so now he's ignoring him

 **and make it double** : the end

 **angel** : WE HAVE TO GET THEM TOGETHER

 **the only normal one** : or we could wait for them to sort this out? together? with their own will?

 **angel** : NOW WHO WOULD DO THAT

 **angel** : ok i have a plan who's willing to help

 **The Baby™** : me!

 **The Baby™** : both hyungs look super sad so i wanna help :(

 **angel** : PERFECT

 **angel** : NO ONE CAN RESIST YOUR BABY CHARMS

 **The Baby™** : hyung im...not actually a baby

 **angel** : not now, chan

 **angel** : operation save the children is a go

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Seungcheol, I'm leaving the band

 

———

 

_Direct message to: **#1 gay**_

 

 **The Baby™** : hyung, are you on?

 **#1 gay** : yeah, what's up chan?

 **The Baby™** : okay don't get mad

 **The Baby™** : but i _may_ have left my snapback in the practice room again

 **#1 gay** : rlly chan

 **#1 gay** : why can't you just get it urself?

 **The Baby™** : are you kidding me??? no way!!! (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

 **The Baby™** : jeonghan hyung says i can't be up past 9 :((

 **#1 gay** : lmao ok i'll get it for u

 **The Baby™** : really?? thank u so much hyung!!! ٩(^‿^)۶

 **#1 gay** : no problem! :D

 **The Baby™** : hey, u used a smiley emoji again!

 **#1 gay** : what do you mean

 **The Baby™** : what

 **The Baby™** : nothing!

 **The Baby™** : thank u again hyung! love u ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

 **#1 gay** : ...love u too?

 

———

 

_Direct message to: **wonwhy**_

 

 **angel** : WONWOO GET UR ASS UP

 **wonwhy** : christ hyung u don't need to yell

 **angel** : this is a text

 **wonwhy** : u used capital letters whats ur point

 **angel** : whatever

 **angel** : i need u to do me a favour

 **wonwhy** : what the hell do u need help at 9pm hyung

 **angel** : i left my makeup in the practice room

 **wonwhy** : no

 **angel** : wonwoo _PLEASE_

 **angel** : i never usually ask u for help!!!!!

 **wonwhy** : really

 **wonwhy** : june 2nd, u asked me to pass u the milk

 **wonwhy** : june 3rd, u asked me to stall jihoon bc u didn't finish ur lyrics

 **wonwhy** : june 3rd again, u asked me to hold jihoon back when he tried to beat u up for not finishing ur lyrics

 **angel** : damn u keep track?

 **wonwhy** : i have to

 **wonwhy** : its the only way to survive

 **angel** : look this is the last time i promise

 **wonwhy** : december 4th, jeonghan promises it's the last time

 **angel** : WONWOO PLEASE

 **wonwhy** : omg fine calm down

 **wonwhy** : but i might have to kill u if u ask me to do something else for u

 **angel** : love u wonwoo!!!!!

 **wonwhy** : ur lucky to be alive

 

———

 

_Direct message to: **#1 gay**_

 

 **wonwhy** : they locked us in here

 **wonwhy** : guess we were kinda obvious

 **#1 gay** : yeah i guess

 **wonwhy** : look, mingyu

 **#1 gay** : its fine you don't have to say anything 

 **#1 gay** : they'll let us out eventually

 **wonwhy** : no, i want to

 **wonwhy** : just

 **wonwhy** : let me talk for a bit, okay?

 **#1 gay** : fine

 **wonwhy** : when i first saw you, i was in awe

 **wonwhy** : i mean, not that your personality isn't good, but you're beautiful, mingyu. not just hot — _beautiful_. like art.

 **wonwhy** : i remember thinking "no wonder pledis let him in as a visual even though he's not talented"

 **#1 gay** : im

 **wonwhy** : let me _finish_

 **wonwhy** : so there i was, young and stupid, and _literal_ _perfection_ comes up to me and asks me how i am

 **wonwhy** : it was you, mingyu

 **wonwhy** : being your friend was so incredible, but when i found out that you liked me back...i can't even _begin_ to explain

 **wonwhy** : maybe that was why i pushed u away

 **wonwhy** : even now, i don't get why someone like you would go for someone like me

 **#1 gay** : someone like you?

 **wonwhy** : don't pretend, mingyu

 **wonwhy** : im not as pretty, or as funny, or as noticeable as you

 **wonwhy** : i don't even compare halfway

 **#1 gay** : stop right there

 **#1 gay** : you're not as pretty, funny or noticeable...you're so much more

 **#1 gay** : i could have walked up to anyone, wonwoo, but i picked you

 **wonwhy** : why?

 **#1 gay** : because i _love_ you, wonwoo

 **#1 gay** : and i always will

 **wonwhy** : well fuck

 **wonwhy** : um can we talk about this?? in person?? i feel weird doing this over text

 **#1 gay** : yeah that's okay

 **wonwhy** : thanks

 **wonwhy** : i'm really glad you're giving me another chance

 **#1 gay** : i'm rooting for us too, wonwoo

 

———

 

_**dicks out 4 mr. lee taemin** , 12:03am_

 

 **boo boo the fool** : so?? did ur plan work???

 **angel** : i think so

 **angel** : i can hear talking but i can't hear what they're saying

 **the only normal one** : i'm glad it's working out for them

 **the only normal one** : maybe they did need this push

 **angel** : so what you're saying is...i'm right

 **the only normal one** : i guess so

 **angel** : i need 2 lie down omg

 **The Baby™** : they're gonna be okay!!!

 **The Baby™** : i hate seeing you all sad :(

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : not to be soft but

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : i don't enjoy it much either

 **a fucking nerd** : i'm just gonna say it

 **a fucking nerd** : i fucking love u guys

 **myungHOE** : real soft hours

 **prepare for trouble** : <333

 **and make it double** : u really think they're gonna b ok?

 **thicc daddy** : of _course_ they'll be okay

 **thicc daddy** : we're seventeen, for fuck's sake

 **thicc daddy** : as long as we're together, we're always gonna be okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY WOOOOO THEY DID IT
> 
> how do y'all feel abt this turn of events??? let me know in the comments! i love reading them all ❤️
> 
> twitter: smiiefiowers
> 
> i love u all! stay safe and well <33
> 
> p.s. which ship would u like to see next? i have an idea but if there's an obvious favourite i'll see what i can do ;)


	14. no thanks, i'm already fucking seungcheol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **WEEWOOWEEWOO** : i hate u all
> 
>  **#1 gay** : now you know how i used to feel!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM ALIVE SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING I HAVE LIKE 3 MINS TO UPLOAD THIS DHJSNSJ
> 
> yall r giving this so much love THANK U
> 
> this contains: impatient minghao, kinda gross jun, and the only normal one, being normal
> 
> here is: the morning after!

_**dicks out 4 mr. lee taemin** , 6:07am_

 

 **myungHOE** : guys

 **myungHOE** : i know yall had a big plan to get mingyu and wonwoo together

 **myungHOE** : but the practice room is still locked

 **boo boo the fool** : the fuck are they doing?

 **a fucking nerd** : yes

 **boo boo the fool** : . What

 **a fucking nerd** : they are, in fact, doing the fuck

 **the only normal one** : jun, please

 **and make it double** : yeah, jun, please

 **and make it double** : it's way too quiet in there

 **the only normal one** : thats not

 **the only normal one** : nevermind

 **The Baby™** : whatever they're doing, can they hurry up?

 **The Baby™** : i really did leave my snapback in there

 **thicc daddy** : someone call one of them

 **thicc daddy** : they might be sleeping

 **a fucking nerd** : ;)

[ _**a fucking nerd** has left the chat_ ]

 **thicc daddy** : jihoon

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : What?

 **thicc daddy** : i know that was you

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Yeah, it was

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : You're welcome, too

[ _**thicc daddy** added **a fucking nerd**_ ]

 **a fucking nerd** : fuck you, jihoon

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : No thanks, I'm already fucking Seungcheol

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : i think i'm gonna be sick

 **prepare for trouble** : has anyone tried releasing a dog into the practice room?

 **prepare for trouble** : that'd get mingyu up

 **#1 gay** : DOG

 **prepare for trouble** : or, you could just mention one

 **myungHOE** : OPEN UP DIPSHIT

 **The Baby™** : i really do need my snapback, hyung

 **#1 gay** : wonwoo hyung's still asleep

 **a fucking nerd** : so what's the deal with that

 **a fucking nerd** : yall dick buddies 4 life yet

 **the only normal one** : sometimes, they're called ' _boyfriends_ '

 **and make it double** : sure hyung whatever

 **#1 gay:** i don't know, really

 **#1 gay** : hyung doesn't wanna put a label on it

 **#1 gay** : but he doesn't hate me! so that's progress i guess

 **The Baby™** : i'm happy for u hyung!!

 **myungHOE** : ok so not only did u hog the practice room all night

 **myungHOE** : u didn't even get any action????

 **#1 gay** : no, we just talked

 **#1 gay** : got everything out in the open

 **myungHOE** : pathetic

 **the only normal one** : i'm proud of you, mingyu

 **#1 gay** : thank u!

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : not to rush things but we really do need to practice soon

 **#1 gay** : yeah, he's up now

 **a fucking nerd** : MORNING WONWOO

 **wonwhy** : what

[ _**and make it double**  changed **wonwhy** 's screename to: **wonWOOO**_ ]

 **and make it double** : U DID IT BRO

 **wonWOOO** : not only is this name stupid

 **wonWOOO** : it has one too many 'o's

 **#1 gay** : i think it's cute

 **a fucking nerd** : u can't argue now wonwoo ur bf thinks it's cute HA

 **#1 gay** : im not his bf

 **wonWOOO** : yet

 **#1 gay** : shit

 **wonWOOO** : please change my name

 **and make it double** : fine

 **and make it double** : only because i love you <333

[ _**and make it double** changed **wonWOOO** 's screename to: **WEEWOOWEEWOO**_ ]

 **and make it double** : it's time we did pristin some justice

 **WEEWOOWEEWOO** : does this look like justice to you?

 **and make it double** : yes

 **myungHOE** : yeah

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Yes

 **WEEWOOWEEWOO** : i hate u all

 **#1 gay** : now you know how i used to feel!

 **myungHOE** : OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : u sound like brendon urie lmao

 **the only normal one** : lmao

 **the only normal one** : wait no didn't he ask to close the door

 **WORST cereal mtheod** : shit

 **a fucking nerd** : lmao

 **a fucking nerd** : wait who's brendon urie

 **WEEWOOWEEWOO** : the door's open

 **myungHOE** : fucking finally

 **a fucking nerd** : yes, they are in fact, fucking, finally

[ _**a fucking nerd** has left the chat_ ]

 **angel** : thank u god

 **angel** : wait

 **angel** : i ... _am_ god

[ _**angel** has left the chat_ ]

 **seungcheol's softie uwu** : Thank you, God

 

———

 

 _Direct message to_ : **_WEEWOOWEEWOO_**

 

 **#1 gay** : u rlly think we can do this?

 **WEEWOOWEEWOO** : of course we can

 **WEEWOOWEEWOO** : i'm not messing this up again

 **#1 gay** : aw

 **#1 gay** : thanks for making me talk abt this

 **WEEWOOWEEWOO** : thanks for making me realise how much i needed you

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ha just so y'all know the angst isn't over uwu uwu i have SO much planned *cue evil laughter*
> 
> twitter: smiiefiowers
> 
> thank u for ur comments n kudos! i love u all to the moon and back


	15. fuck off no one steals MY fries in this household

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **WORST cereal mtheod** : what ass do u have exactly i don't see anything back here
> 
> **boo boo the fool** : YOU JUST WANT WHAT YOU CANT HAVE HANSOL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates today, as promised! don't kill me ahahahaha fuck 
> 
> like i said, school is starting in a WEEK * _cue dramatic music_ * so updates are gonna be less frequent :( i'm starting my igcses (or high school, if ur american) so i have a lot of work cut out for me! i'll probably try to update once or twice a week but even that's not for certain :((
> 
> KILL ME PLS
> 
> ANYWAY this chapter has angsty jihan (since yall were BEGGING), papa coups, and tumblr chick seungkwan
> 
> here is: baby chan is insecure (we love him though)

_**dicks out 4 mr. lee taemin** , 09:27am_

 

**The Baby™** : um

**The Baby™** : guys

**a fucking nerd** : what is the up

**the only normal one** : are you okay?

**The Baby™** : am i a bother to the rest of the group?

**WORST cereal mtheod** : what why would u ever think that

**angel** : DID ANYONE SAY YOU WERE

**angel** : it was minghao BET

**myungHOE** : i didn't do anything???? i love chan??

**a fucking nerd** : that's not what u said during rehearsal yesterday mr. xu

**myungHOE** : fuck off _no one_ steals MY fries in this household

**thicc daddy** : what's wrong, chan?

**The Baby™** : nothing, its just

**The Baby™** : sometimes i feel like _maybe_ seventeen would be able to go further without me

**thicc daddy** : you think you're holding us back?

**The Baby™** : well, sometimes

**The Baby™** : yeah

**boo boo the fool** : DONT EVER THINK THAT WE LOVE U CHAN BBY

**prepare for trouble** : ^^

**thicc daddy** : what suddenly brought this up?

**The Baby™** : i guess i've always thought about it

**The Baby™** : but now, i see comments that people leave...

**a fucking nerd** : those fuckers

**The Baby™** : i always try to make carats happy, but

**The Baby™** : well, what if they don't _want_ me to?

**#1 gay** : chan :(

**WEEWOOWEEWOO** : ur an important part of svt chan don't listen to them

**thicc daddy** : ^^

**thicc daddy** : without you, we wouldn't be seventeen

**thicc daddy** : those people who say they don't want you don't deserve you

**thicc daddy** : you've worked just as hard as any member has, without your efforts and everyone else's we wouldn't be where we are now

**The Baby™** : you really think that?

**thicc daddy** : ask the members yourself

**seungcheol's softie uwu** : Chan, you're one of the only members that actually listen to me, and you work incredibly hard too. I need that.

**and make it double** : DUDE u r _such_ a good maknae!!!!!!!!!!! like omg ur ideas r SO good we're so lucky 2 have u in perf team! we are PERFect bc of YOU  <333

**WORST cereal mtheod** : it's really nice to see you work hard, plus u rlly care abt carats n so they care abt u too

**the only normal one** : you work harder than anyone else, chan, and we appreciate it

**myungHOE** : ur one of the few people i can tolerate

**#1 gay** : ur so nice chan!!!! who else will send me cute puppy gifs????

**prepare for trouble** : we love you, chan!

[ _**a fucking nerd** has renamed the chat " **WE LOVE LEE CHAN 5EVER** "_ ]

**The Baby™** : i have the best hyungs!!!!! this made me super happy thank u so much!!!!!!!

**thicc daddy** : no, thank you, chan

**thicc daddy** : we really do love you

**angel** : aw

**angel** : seungcheol always knows what to say how nice

**the only normal one** : of course he does

**angel** : ???

**the only normal one** : that's what you think, isn't it?

**thicc daddy** : not to intrude but, you ok?

**the only normal one** : oh _i'm_ fine

**the only normal one** : why don't you ask jeonghan how he is? that'll make his day

**angel** : jisoo what the fuck??

**the only normal one** : i'm done listening to you, jeonghan

**the only normal one** : you can sort out your shit yourself

**angel** : fine by me

[ _**the only normal one** has left the chat_ ]

**prepare for trouble** : so

**prepare for trouble** : what happens when the only sane one in the chat flips out in the most cryptic way and leaves?

**The Baby™** : is this my fault?

**angel** : no

**angel** : jisoo's just being a baby, again

**thicc daddy** : jeonghan, that's uncalled for

**angel** : you're saying it's my fault??

**thicc daddy** : what no

[ _**angel** has left the chat_ ]

**thicc dadd** y: i

**a fucking nerd** : trouble in paradise i see

**thicc daddy** : did i do something

**seungcheol's softie uwu** : No

**seungcheol's softie uwu** : But if my instincts are correct, you may be a part of it

**WORST cereal mtheod** : so a 50/50 chance then?

**seungcheol's softie uwu** : Not to be rude, but

**seungcheol's softie uwu** : When have I ever been wrong?

**boo boo the fool** : then why did u say " _if_ ur instincts r correct"

**seungcheol's softie uwu** : I've got to stay humble, obviously

**seungcheol's softie uwu** : Something you could learn to do

**a fucking nerd** : SHIT

**boo boo the fool** : um _EXCUSE_ ME

**boo boo the fool** : as long as ur talking shit behind my back u may as well look at my GREAT ASS

**seungcheol's softie uwu** : What are you, a common white girl?

**seungcheol's softie uwu** : I've heard that line so many times

**boo boo the fool** : actually no i'm not

**boo boo the fool** : tumblr says i'm a otherworldly powerful person who never lets anything get in my way n my lucky numbers r 2,5,&7

**boo boo the fool** : yknow, bc i'm a capricorn

**WORST cereal mtheod** : what ass do u have exactly i don't see anything back here

**boo boo the fool** : YOU JUST WANT WHAT YOU CANT HAVE HANSOL

**WEEWOOWEEWOO** : are we just gonna ignore that hansol openly admitted to checking out seungkwan's ass??

**#1 gay** : who here hasn't?

**seungcheol's softie uwu** : On behalf of every member, I haven't

**#1 gay** : seriously???

**boo boo the fool** : mingyu would like a piece of the boo am i right? ;)

**myungHOE** : oh my fucking god

**The Baby™** : dont fuck god!

**WEEWOOWEEWOO** : mingyu im breaking up w u

**#1 gay** : we're not dating yet??

**WEEWOOWEEWOO** : i said what i said

**myungHOE** : who said i was fucking god

**The Baby™** : u!

**The Baby™** : u said "oh my fucking god"

**The Baby™** : so i thought u were some sort of,, idk

**The Baby™** : god fucker??

[ _**a fucking nerd** has changed **The Baby™** 's screename to: **god fucker**_ ]

**myungHOE** : oh my fucking god

**god fucker** : hyung D:

**prepare for trouble** : a fucking nerd, and now the god fucker

**prepare for trouble** : the whole gang's here

**thicc daddy** : so we're just gonna ignore what happened with jeonghan and jisoo??

**boo boo the fool** : hyung they'll be fine

**thicc daddy** : what who said anything about them?

**thicc daddy** : i can't take care of 10 of you by myself

**thicc daddy** : i'd rather die

**WEEWOOWEEWOO** : our leader, everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't intend for this chapter to go this way but here we are
> 
> twitter: smiiefiowers 
> 
> ive been getting comments on EVERY chapter as well as 200+ kudos! wild! thank u all i love uuuu

**Author's Note:**

> what a: Mess
> 
> please leave me comments and kudos; i'll reply to them all (comments, not kudos)
> 
> here's my twitter if you're interested in that stuff: smiiefiowers
> 
> thanks for reading, i hope you liked it!
> 
> stay tuned for: the story behind dino's name!


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